Commercials. One for Charmed. How nice.

The next morning. A world wakes to The Morning After the Farmboy's Dance. It's Kent Farm. And boy do we have a mental hangover. We pan across the barn loft, where party clothes and streamers lie alongside piles of hay. If you can't have enough gay at your big party in Kansas, you can always provide your own "haaaaaay!" Clark answers a ringing phone, which just woke him up. It's MamaKent. He asks how they're doing in Metropolis. As Clark is talking, a half-naked couple gets up from a hay pile near him and exits. Clark is left holding the guy's pants. Virgin no more? You decide. MamaKent asks about the recruiter. Clark says he thinks he made an impression. Ha! But not really.

Lair of Lex. We hear the familiar Schubert music that Lex was playing earlier. As Lex continues his recital, Clark walks in and tells his sob story about the party and the recruiter and how he thinks he blew it. Here's what a great friend Clark is: even though he's treated Lex like shit for three years and lies to him constantly while accusing him of being the actual evil liar, Clark now wants a favor. He wants Lex to use his connections at Princeton to help this big, dumb, lying, whining alien farmboy. This better be one great blowjob, Kent. Clark pauses long enough to receive a signal from Earth on his home planet of Selfish Ass, and notices that Lex isn't looking so hot. (For once.) Lex is, in fact, playing the piano in a crazed frenzy, and he looks strung out and exhausted. Lex looks at Clark helplessly. We cut to the piano, the keys of which are lightly covered in blood. "Lex, what are you doing?" Clark asks. He tells him to stop. Lex says he can't. Clark shuts the piano keys and pulls Lex away from the instrument. He asks what happened. "Lana!" Lex says fiercely. Yes, but he's asking what happened to you, not to the quality of the show in general. Clark holds Lex in his big strong arms and for once shows a little compassion to the bald and the sexy. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode, one born of desperation.