Lana starts flipping through the book without so much as a pair of comic book-reading gloves. She asks, "How's your Latin?" Jason sticks his tongue in her mouth and says, "Not as good as my French." Only he doesn't, really. He actually says it's not as good as his non-existent Italian. Lana keeps flipping through the book and comes upon the bloody spittle. The fireplace suddenly blows out. Jason goes to see what's up. "Oh my God," Lana says, "this is the symbol from Isabelle's tomb." Jason says that's kind of spooky. Lana runs her fingers up the page and touches the historical loogie. The symbol on Lana's back suddenly glows bright fuchsia. The Pink is back! God help us all. The fireplace bursts into huge flames, singeing the Hell out of Jason. This is where he should go, "Weird tattoos, superpowered half-retarded quarterbacks, a girlfriend who doesn't laugh at my jokes and gets me fired. Seriously? I'm outta here. Man, this is one seriously fucked-up chick." Instead, Jason just goes, "AGGH!" and loses some eyebrows. Lana arches her back in some sort of funky trance, her eyes glowing the same pink color as her tattoo. Her pupils settle on a purple-pink color that goes nicely with the bruises that'll soon be inflicted upon Jason. Jason -- who should be getting an EMS airlift right about now -- brushes himself off and asks if Lana is all right. Lana -- who was about ten feet from the fireplace -- is being asked this by the guy with second-degree burns. Lana stands up, holding the book. She smiles as she touches her stomach and gives Jason a come-hither look. "Never been better," she says. Jason, looking a bit intimidated, says, "Oh, good, because just now when I got a flame to the eye I -- WHAAAAA? Why are you smiling like that?" We go to opening credits.
Episode Report Card1094 USERS: C+
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