Smallville
Spirit

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Prom-'n-Aid

Kent Farm, dusk. Clark is looking through the yearbook, mooning over Lana's photo. He turns as Bo Duke and MamaKent come down the stairs, dressed for the prom. "Hey, you guys look great!" he gushes. And they do. MamaKent is wearing a gold jacket, and Bo's wrapping his manly torso in a suit coat. MamaKent is sad that Clark isn't going; she says they only agreed to chaperone for him. Clark agrees that it's a little backward. As he ties his tie with his top button undone, Bo says he doesn't want Clark to look back and regret missing the prom. Clark retorts that standing at the punch bowl and watching bad dancing isn't something he'll miss. Bo says suavely that he's not so sure about that bad dancing part. Then he undercuts his suaveness by saying, "I'll bring the truck around." He'll even honk, because that's chivalry. MamaKent tells Clark she thinks she knows why he's skipping prom. Clark whines that when he was a freshman watching everyone go to the prom, he figured it would be him and Lana going their senior year. MamaKent says that shit happens, but that sometimes that shit is better than what you imagined. Or words to that effect. MamaKent says she put Clark's tux by the door if he changes his mind. Tux? Whaaaa? "You rented me a tux?" Clark asks. No one's going to mention that Clark was recently married and his short-term wife was brutally killed, huh? Because that would fuck pretty much anyone up if it happened shortly before the prom. But screw all that. It's all about Clark's moping for Lana, right? MamaKent hugs Clark and leaves him to stew in his Lana-loss.

A sound from up the stairs. The camera leers at a girl in a tight red dress with white sparklies at the top. She's, um...top-heavy? "Well?" asks Lois Lane, in her over-the-top (take that however you like) dress and strangely made-up hair. "How do I look?" Surgically assisted? Clark gulps and says it looks like she's going to the prom. "I am," she says, coming down the stairs and almost knocking all the pictures off their frames with her mammary bundles. "And you're taking me!" she announces. Lois says she won't let Clark sit around while his parents go "Electric Boogaloo" all night. Er, all right, then. She promises that it'll be fun. Clark resists. Lois repeats the phrase "massive re-strategy" and warns Clark that he's going to the prom whether he likes it or not. Clark reminds her that this wasn't in the realm of possibilities. Lois smiles. "Anything's possible, Clark," she says. "Anything." Creepy music plays. We go to commercials. I go get completely drunk, because that's the only way I'm going to get through the rest of this episode.

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Smallville

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