Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | 1 USERS: F

Chloe enters the prom looking fantastic, but glum as all get-out. She tells herself that she can do this. She sees Clark, and they both brighten up. "Hey, haven't I seen you here before?" she asks, cutely. Psst...Clark...this is where you tell Chloe how good she looks. "Well, maybe this time we won't have any natural disasters," he says. Hmm. Sure. I guess that works, too. Chloe says she thought Clark wasn't coming. Clark says that he thought about regrets, and that not being able to see Chloe in her crown would have been at the top of the list. Why, you bastard asshat liar! What a douche! Chloe seems to believe him, which makes the comment even sadder. She says sincerely that she's glad Clark is there. "Clark!" Lois screeches. "It's called an escort for a reason!" Chloe's face scrunches up. "You're here," Chloe says, "in pink. Why?" Lois also lies, saying that she came to cheer Chloe on. Why must everyone around Chloe force her into a ramshackle house of lies?

A school administrator on stage busts up the party to get everyone's attention. She says it's time for the big announcement. Isn't it a little early? Everyone just got there! Oh well. Time to see what's what. Chloe tells Lois that if she should somehow win, the tiara-burning party will be at her house. Chloe has a house? Clark grins. Lois makes an awful, awful face of joy, telling them they should get closer to the stage. The prom queen is announced: "Chloe Sullivan!" The teacher or whomever that is on stage seems pretty happy with the result. Lois's smile fades. Chloe looks horrified. Bo and MamaKent clap. Lifehouse is like, "This gig fucking sucks." Lois gives Chloe a hug, transferring Poor Man's Paris Hilton over to the Prom Queen's body. Chloe, bright beauty pageant grin in place, storms the stage. Lois, back to her own brain, asks what the hell she's doing in a dress and what the hell she's doing at the prom. Lowering flat-chested girls' self-esteem?

Chloe takes the crown and the bouquet of roses on stage. She even grabs for the scepter. Gimme that! Lois, in the audience with Clark, sticks out the corsage on her chest. "Did you stick that on me?" she asks Clark. He's trying to watch Chloe on stage. "A little close to the boob, don't you think?" Lois asks. How could it not be? It's got its own gravitational pull. On stage, Chloe is doing a Dawn. She says it's totally awesome that she won. She says she's looked to the stars and wished for this moment since she was a little girl. Like, gag! Chloe continues to gush that she's looking down on everyone now, and that this moment is so totally genius! Chloe says that the person who really deserves the honor is Dawn Stiles. You know, it strikes me as a little odd that school and the prom weren't cancelled when a student died, even if it was someone who wasn't well-liked. And that students would react negatively to hearing a dead student memorialized at prom. This school must just be full of assholes, is what it is. Unless Dawn didn't really die, of course. As soon as Chloe says Dawn's name, everyone starts to look weirded out. On stage, Chloe says that PMP deserved this award way more than Chloe Sullivan does. People in the crowd start to chant -- half-assedly, I might add -- "Chloe! Chloe! Chloe!" Even the closed captioning says it with more enthusiasm than this bunch of mumblers. Chloe/PMP starts to cry a little. Possessed Chloe says bitterly that this will be a night she'll always remember, and that all of them will never forget. Ominous! She storms off. Clark starts to go after Chloe, but Lois stops him to say she's clicked her heels three times and still wants to know what's going on. We go to commercials before Clark can explain.

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