Last leg. I think I can make it. I can almost see the finish line. But man, what a shitty route to have to take to get there. I think I've got that "Smallville fatigue" that people on the forum seem to have come down with.
We zip back to the beginning of the episode, with the scenes we saw at the top of the episode. Lifehouse is playing their crappy hit. Chloe has grabbed an ax. She walks down the hall and clocks Bo Duke in the face again; it's even more satisfying the second time around. Wow, this is way easier to recap the second time. This time, however, Clark finds Bo Duke at the bottom of the stairs and helps him up. "Weren't you just shot last week?" he should have asked. Bo tells Clark that Chloe isn't acting like herself. You know, with the ax across the face and stuff. Clark asks Bo to get something for him.
Chloe is in the boiler room. She takes an ax to the oil valve and gets the mop-torch again. Chloe has to say her awful "Now that's what I call a torch" line again. This time, when she throws the flaming mop, Clark superzips down the hall and catches it before it can ignite the oil. Now do some fire-juggling! Chloe asks Clark how he did that. He puts the flaming torch down, seemingly without putting it out. Whups! Clark tells Chloe that he knows she's actually PMP. Bitterly, PMP tells Clark that for years, she tried to be what she thought everyone wanted, and that, on what was supposed to be the best night of her life, everyone laughed at her. Welcome to high school. "Let Chloe go!" Clark demands. "I will," she says. She says that there's a lot of life after high school, and that she can be whomever she wants. She touches Clark on the chest. She does the soul transfer. Chloe gasps. "Clark!" she says. Clark looks at her cattily. "The crown's mine, bitch," he says, taking it from her. Best line ever. What follows, though, is not so cool. Clark smacks Chloe across the face, sending her flying across the room. It's Clark's strength here, so you have to figure he'd have shattered Chloe's skull into a million CGI pieces. Clark looks at his powerful fist. "Genius!" he says. Kill me. Kill me now. Wing! Put me out of my misery! It's soooo bad! ["I've had four people quit their shows this season, pal. You're on your own." -- Wing Chun] Clark picks up the flaming torch that should have already ignited the oil. Oh, what oil? It's all gone now! Yay, for miraculous editing! Chloe, on the ground, opens her aching jaw. Ow.
Bo suddenly rushes in and calls PMP's name. Clark swings the mop/torch in Bo's direction. Clark, all fey, says, "Seriously, Mr. Kent, you can't stop me!" Mercy! Bo says that may be true, but that he can stop his son. He busts out the Kryptonite. Clark starts to get weak. Chloe watches with interest. Clark/PMP falls to the ground, writhing, and whines, "What are you doing? What is that?" "It's time for you to leave!" Bo bellows. That Satan isn't going to just exorcise himself! He comes closer. Clark winces and moans. As he lies flat on his back, PMP's spirit rises from the body. Holy Exorcist! No, really. It's holy! The pink spirit rises, comes straight for the camera, and then rises up to the ceiling. She went to heaven? Laters! Bo tosses the rock just anywhere. He shuts the oil valve off. Clark regains his strength and gets up. He goes to check on Chloe, who's absolutely fine despite being punched in the face by freakin' Superman. Clark spots her tiara on the ground. He hands it to her with his congratulations. Chloe looks at him like, "My hero!" Yeah, my big, dumb, asshat, liar, just-clocked-me- in-the-face- with-his-super-strength hero.