Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | 1 USERS: F

It's autumn all of a sudden. We're outside somewhere on some outdoor grounds. Lex, in a trenchcoat, is being led to the scene of something. "Who found her?" he asks. A lackey tells him that a gardener found a body while digging a drainage ditch. Lex hesitates, then steps forward. He crouches. "How long has she been dead?" he asks. "At least a day," says the lackey. A foot and a high-heeled shoe are sticking out of the ground. They can tell the time of death from a foot that hasn't yet been taken out of the ground? I really gotta catch up on my C.S.I. "Lex? Oh my God!" someone says. It's Jason, who just conveniently showed up without being held back by the two guys behind him that are supposed to be guarding Lex. Lex asks Jason what he's doing there. Jason says he came to talk about some reports, but saw security folks running out of the mansion. Lackey Leader tells Lex they found something and now have a positive ID. It's a woman's wallet. Lex finds a New York state driver's license. Holy crap, it's Margot Kidder! Now, I ask you this. Of all the ways they could have killed off her character, was sticking her in the dirt with a foot sticking out the nicest way to do it? That beef she and the producers had with each other must have gotten pretty ugly. Lex mentions her name. Jason gets excited, saying he's heard the name before in his research. He says she works for the billionaire Virgil Swann. He fails to mention that Swann himself died a while back. Lex tries to brush Jason off, but he insists that if this has anything to do with the Gay Stones of Knowledge, that it's his business, too. Lex asks his thugs to escort Jason back to his car. Jason looks at Lex all sad and puppy-dog-eyed. For lack of any competition, it's the Gayest Look of the Episode. It's not even a full-on gay look. It's more like a mini gaylet.

The Torch. Clark is sitting at a desk reading Chloe's front-page editorial (sigh...) "Boycott the vote!" Chloe walks in to the office and Clark asks her if he should bow to her. He's been sharing jokes with Lana -- always a bad, bad sign. Chloe says that's cute; she asks what about "Boycott the vote!" people don't understand. Clark says that people get it; Chloe is the boycott vote. Clark, suddenly a deep thinker, says that for the last four years, everyone's been trying to break out of their stereotypes; Chloe is the battle cry. No, Chloe is just the cry; she cries because this show keeps kicking her in the mouth for being smart. Chloe gets it; she calls it a prom coup. She asks, smiling, if Clark had anything to do with this. Clark says he may have spoken to a few people. Clark raises his newspaper as Chloe flings a pencil at him. It's awfully adorable. She tells Clark she's not storming the Bastille alone. She asks whom Smallville's most eligible bachelor is taking to prom. She's talking about Clark? My God, she is! Clark, suddenly serious, says he's thinking of sitting this one out. He gets up to find a better camera angle. "Whaaaat? Not you too!" Chloe whines. Chloe repeats Lana's bullshit about the prom not living up to four years of expectations, and asks if that's why he's not going. "Uh, something like that," Clark says. Chloe gets annoyed that she's going to break out of her rut onstage "with a sash" while Clark is at home yet again. Clark tells her he didn't say she was in a rut. Chloe says that she is, though, and she's not alone. She says that in a few weeks, they'll graduate from this "adolescent fantasy," and that they won't have a rut to fall back on. I guess they are graduating, huh? Nice to finally mention that. Chloe speechifies that expectations are supposed to drive you to do more with your life, not stop you from living it. Chloe, who has the clearest eyes I've seen in a while, tells Clark that the future holds a lot more promise for him than he gives it credit. Not a future to six seasons, of course, but maybe a solid Season 5. Clark absorbs all that and thinks, "Buh."

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