The Talon. PMP and her sidechicks are making a list of activities for the prom. It's tanning, nails, hair, then the limo picks them up. They're jotting their schedule down in notepads. Shouldn't these girls be hooked up on Palm Pilots or Blackberrys or something? The paper planners seem a little old school for the pampered modern high-school girl, no? One of the Heathers says PMP should be a little more worried about "12 o'clock." PMP says they don't have to start that early, but the girl was talking about direction, not time. "Is that your boyfriend crushing on a freshman?" asks the "Friend." PMP is annoyed to see that her boyfriend, who is wearing a letter jacket, is indeed macking on a young lass at the counter. "She is so not making pep squad," PMP threatens. PMP's got really dark circles under her eyes. Are we sure she's in high school? Now, whatever you might think of the character of Poor Man's Paris, just try to feel a bit of sympathy for the actress that has to say the following bit of dialogue with a straight face: "First off, Wonderbra, laters!" That's actual dialogue someone was paid to write for the WB series Smallville now in its fourth season. I bet you're better at whatever job you do, dear reader. The girl at the counter accepts the moniker "Wonderbra" at face value and makes herself scarce, leaving PMP with her boyfriend. Almost, but not quite as bad, is PMP's next line: "The Talon? Hi, can you say mortified?" She whines that prom is only twenty-seven hours away. "Yeah, about that," says Young Butt Affleck. He tells her that he's not going. Furthermore, it's over. Again, not to create sympathy for an obviously cookie-cutter Heather character, but breaking up with someone the day before prom when it obviously means everything to her is pretty shitty, too. Butt Affleck says it should have been over a long time ago, and that he's not going to stand around being a bowtie that matches her dress. He obviously hasn't heard about what usually happens after prom. He could have been the cockring, too. PMP tells him he can't break up with her the day before prom. "It's over," he says simply, and walks away. Hey, wait up, Wonderbra! PMP's friends tell her that she's been treated harshly. PMP says that her ex was "so yesterday's mystery meat?" All together now: "HUH!?" PMP calls for a "massive re-strategy." She says she needs a new King. How about the Burger King? I hear he's making a comeback. PMP tells her minions to get her a yearbook.