Driving along a very scenic and decidedly un-Kansan route. PMP drives an SUV. Of course she drives an SUV. She's listening to Ashlee Simpson which, even if you don't get into an accident can cause severe head trauma. PMP is leafing through the yearbook as she drives. She's in the car alone. She finds Clark's yearbook entry. "I need some of this!" she says juicily. PMP picks up the phone and calls her friend Harmony. She must have the world's fastest cell phone, because Harmony picks up in less than a second. She reads Clark's outdated profile and announces that he's "gorgeous, captain of the football team, and single long enough that I'm not sloppy seconds." She got all that from the yearbook? Clark's profile says: "Wow! Done with another year. But it was definitely another good one. Can't wait for the summer to hang around at Crater lake with PR, CS, and the two LL's. Thanks mom and dad for everything! And of course I'll still be around the farm to lend a hand...See everyone else next year!" I can see why someone would totally want to date Clark after reading that bit of eloquence. She asks for digits for Clark Kent. She's writing the number down as her SUV veers toward a cliff. Toonces, no! The SUV barrels through the barrier and into space as the Ashlee Simpson is cranked up. I can't think of a worse way to die, musically speaking. The SUV hits the ground and flips over. It rolls to a stop far below. The camera lingers over the wreck before showing PMP's body lying outside the vehicle. Nearby, though, are a bunch of exposed meteor rocks. PMP's hand is glowing as it lies on the ground.
Later that evening. PMP is walking from the woods, seemingly just fine after her accident. She's walking out to the dark road. She sees a car driving toward her. "Stop! Please! Stop!" she calls, waving her arms. It's MamaKent in the red Kent truck. MamaKent sees the broken barrier, but not PMP standing in the road. Poor Man's Paris shields herself, but her body passes right through the truck. When her spirit collides with MamaKent, MamaKent's body spasms and she brakes the car to a stop. MamaKent looks at her own hands. She looks at herself in the rearview. "Holy crap! I'm Clark Kent's mom!" says the voice of PMP. But then, isn't everyone? We go to commercials.
These horrible truth.com commercials really make me want a cigarette.
Kent home. Clark arrives that same night to find the same Ashlee Simpson song playing. Noooo! It's from Hell! She brought it back with her from beyond the grave! "Mom?" Clark asks hesitantly as he peers over toward the kitchen. PMP-as-MamaKent is doing a crazy dance like the kids do these days, completely rocking out. She's holding a half-carton of ice cream, too, as she boogies. Clark watches as his poor mother scratches at herself "like an alley cat" and shakes her stuff. My...goodness. Clark asks what's going on. Dance Party USA! WOOOO! MamaKent giggles and says goofily, "Hi, son." She spoons some ice cream and eats it right from the carton. Clark asks, "What's for dinner?" "Dinner?" PMP-MamaKent asks, then she laughs as she catches herself figuring out that she's this doofus's mom. She asks Clark to try some ice cream, and tells him that it's "yummy." Clark asks if she's feeling all right. MamaKent says she's great; she brushes back her hair and says she wanted to ask Clark if he has a date for prom yet. She swings a bit from side to side, girlishly, which would be perfect if PMP didn't actually walk around with a stick up her ass all the time. Clark says he doesn't plan to go. "Whaaat?" MamaKent exclaims. "You have to go!" Clark stammers that he kinda wanted to go with Lana, but... "Lana Lang?!" MamaKent scoffs. "You can't be serious. You two are so last year." She says it really obnoxiously, which is surprisingly hilarious. MamaKent tells Clark with deadly seriousness that it's gonna be the most important night of his life and that she won't let him miss it. "You can take me," she says. Creeeeeeepy! Clark reminds her that she's already going with Bo Duke; they're chaperones. Thank goodness he had that excuse handy. "Oh. Yeah. Right. Cool," MamaKent says. Body possession is fun! She rolls her eyes.