Smallville
Splinter

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Paranoid Man-droid

Opening credits.

The front page of The Daily Planet. I won't bore you by going into my thoughts on newspaper design, but this front page is pretty damn ugly. The main hed reads (in two different type sizes) "LEX LUTHOR TO RUN FOR STATE SENATE." We pan back to reveal the Kent kitchen, where Bo Duke is holding the newspaper. He moans that it's not bad enough that Lex owns half the state -- now he wants to tell people how to run their lives. Jealous? Seeking a higher platform for your home-spun platitudes? MamaKent bookmarks her page in a book she's reading and tells Bo that she doesn't want him to risk his health running for office like Tom Wopat suggested. Bo tells her he feels fine. Physically, where it counts. MamaKent says that the election is in January (whaaa?), and that putting together a campaign that quickly will be hard on Bo's heart. He says that the stress of watching Lex get sworn in will be even worse. MamaKent complains that if he runs, their personal lives will be dug into. She asks what'll happen if people find out Clark's secret. Clark, walking through the door, says he thinks someone already has. He says that someone ran him off the road on his way back from Metropolis. "Oh, by the way, I owe you guys another truck," he doesn't add. Bo asks whether Clark knew who it was. Clark says it took off before he could identify a driver. Clark says that someone called him and said, in a weird voice, "I know who you are." This is very important, Clark: did they say if they know what you did last summer? MamaKent sighs. How is she supposed to get to work now? Bo tells Clark to stick to his normal routine and not to do anything unusual. Stick to the straight and narrow. Don't be a deviant. Er, I mean, don't deviate...from the hetero, er, I mean here-to-there comings and goings. But without the comings. Boy, this doesn't sound right at all. Bo suggests that "these people" are going to be watching Clark's every move. He suggests that Clark not give them anything to gawk at. Keep your shirt on, farmboy. Dramatic music plays. I guess "gawk at" is a natural break for this show.

Central Kansas University: The community college where you get two-for-one classes on Wednesdays when you bring a coupon. Professor SoFine lectures with some slides. "Brutus and Caesar," he says. "Jesus and Judas." Is that...historical figures that have been used as the basis for too many mini-series? "What happened?" SoFine asks. Dude, I have no idea. I was just checking my text messages. Aren't you the History teacher? Clark sits in class in his red t-shirt, which seems a bit underdressed, as SoFine lectures that if history teaches us anything, it's that even the most powerful men can be betrayed by those they love most. SoFine says the reason we see so much betrayal in history is simple: duplicity is human nature. The buzzer sounds, signaling that the class is over. Dammit! Betrayed by Father Time again! SoFine asks if the classes are getting shorter or if it's just him. Nope, SoFine is the short one. Everyone clears out of class, including SoFine, who takes his briefcase and exits. Clark notices a bookbag that somebody left behind. He picks it up, and a green Kryptonite rock rolls out from under it. Piercing sounds play as Clark backs away. The overhead projector comes on. Clark looks to the screen, but the words are blurry. Clark tries to focus. The screen reads, "I KNOW HOW TO KILL YOU." On, this must be a slide for Econ class. The boredom will kill you. Clark blinks. The tension! It's killer!

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Smallville

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