Smallville
Splinter

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Paranoid Man-droid

Central Kansas State. Clark wanders past some students into the lecture hall where Professor SoFine has just finished his lecture, "Lex Luthor is a very, very bad man!" SoFine says he wondered if Clark had forgotten about him. Fresh! He asks if Clark is all right. Clark, sweaty, says he's not. He tells SoFine that Chloe and his parents are in on it. Also? CBS News. Clark asks whether SoFine got any information about the truck from campus security. He reminds SoFine about their earlier conversation. "Clark. I haven't seen you in over a week," SoFine says. Clark is looking pretty awful. "I had a class, but you weren't in it," SoFine says dismissively. SoFine, who keeps finding variations on touching Clark's shoulder, says that he's got a faculty meeting, but will excuse himself if Clark will wait in his office. "Whatever's happening, we're in this together," SoFine says. Clark hears children laughing and playing. "What is this?" Clark asks. He hears the voice of Lex, which seems a little less out of place in his delusions. Lex is saying that the investigation into Clark's life is yielding some surprising revelations. Lex's voice, which is coming from a very bright white light, says that Clark is an alien and an intruder from another galaxy. Lex says that he's the first vanguard of an invasion. "No!" Clark yells, trying to find the source of the voice, "that's not what I am!" Lex is saying he knows how to stop this "strange visitor from another planet." We see Lex in the frame of what looks like a Dave McKean painting. Clark turns and there's Lex again, having been reflected in a dirty mirror. Lex, in a purple shirt and black suit, says, "I'm the one that's gonna kill you, Clark." From a large pipe overhead, a blast of Kryptonite glass sprays on Clark, choking him. Clark falls to his knees, but then manages to get up and take a door off its hinges.

Lair of Lex. Lana storms right into Lex's office. Ah yes. No front door. She tells Lex that she should have known he'd pull something like this. Like...what? "You can't stand to see us together, can you?" Lana asks Lex, who's sitting calmly at his desk. And wearing a purple shirt. Lex says, "I think this is the part where I usually say, 'Lana, what are you talking about?'" Good of them to recognize such a frequent trope of the show. Lana says that, somehow, Lex knew what would happen when he sent her the silver rock. She sets it on his desk, next to his Treo. Suddenly, the Treo starts being paranoid about spam and spyware. Lex picks up the rock. He swears it's the first time he's seen one like that. Lana says she doesn't have time for any more of Lex's lieth. Also? She hasn't got time for the pain. "What did that do to Clark?" she asks. He got stoned. Huh huh. Lex says that he just shared the most important secret in the world with Lana; why would he lie to her right after? To split her off from Clark so that she and Lex can work on the ship project alone? "If you didn't send this to me, then who did?" Lana asks. Lex says he doesn't know. He asks what happened to Clark. Lana explains about the paranoia. Lex tells Lana that they'll take the rock to LuthorCorp and get Lex's best people working on a cure. Your best people can't even open a space hatch. They're going to look at the rock and ask, "Silver? Is that anything like taupe?" Lex promises to find a way to help Clark. Lana softens. "Thank you," she tells Lex. "You're my partner now," he says. Ya dig, dawg? You my boo. Lana apologizes for not trusting Lex. Aw, don't sweat it, it happens every single week. Lana remembers that Lex has always been there for her.

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Smallville

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