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Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
A Modest Proposal

Inside the tent, there are tons of blue bins. The woman who was talking to the cop -- apparently the lead coroner -- says that Clark must be the first-year med student she's been waiting for. The examiner, who is cute (all women in even a vaguely medical profession on this show seem to be disproportionately hot), sees Clark's stupefied look and tells him not to flatline on her now: she recognizes the queasy stare that afflicts all newbies their first day on the job. She asks Clark to move a bin. He asks how many bodies there are. She says that there's a whole graveyard's worth. She opens a bin and removes a plastic bag full of...well, human, I guess. Must be Thanksgiving! Clark watches the coronoer put the guts on a scale, asking how a body ends up like that. Too much TV? The coroner says that they have no skeletons. Goddamn you, Mr. Goodbody, what have you done?! She says that she doesn't know how that's anatomically possible; someone must have ripped the bones out. The examiner says that they're "clean fillets." Hey, everybody...I think McRib is back! She says that she's seen stuff that would make people run for the hills (in Seattle?), but that this is seriously freaky. I would love to see a medical examiner's filing for "Seriously Freaky." That gets put alphabetically near "Stunningly Grody" and "Shit's Insane, Yo!" Clark asks whether all the bodies are from the ship. The coroner says the last two are from some unlucky dock workers. Why doesn't this woman have a whole team of coroners helping her out instead of one wholly unprepared med student? Clark sees a badge lying on a desk. He pockets it and leaves hurriedly. "Kid, you puking already?" the examiner calls after him. This isn't exactly C.S.I., is it? And thus we say goodbye to Sardonic Medical Examiner Lady.

Stately Luthor Manor, daytime. Lana, still in her peacoat, walks into the Lair of Lex with Chloe, the one person who believes her. Static Lex, upstairs, calls for Lana, but of course nobody hears him. Chloe says that stranger things have happened in Smallville, and that they'll find him. Lex thanks God that Lana is all right, and goes to hug her. He passes through her as black-and-white static. Chloe asks where Lex was when he got "vaporized." Sensitive, that. Lana shows Chloe where it happend. Lex realizes that they can't see him. Chloe ignores the location and goes right for Lex's laptop. She asks whether all the security footage is kept on an internal server. Chloe says that they're going to need a password, asking Lana, "Are you password-close?" Lana says she guesses not, since she doesn't know what the code might be. Static Lex comes up behind Lana and says that it's her birthday. Way secure, Mr. Billionaire. Why not just do "12345"? Lana asks Chloe to try his brother's name, Julian. Or his mom's name, Lillian. "Your birthday!" Lex says. Dude. Shut it. "Ixnay," says Chloe. She tries "Lana." How about, "Nibbles the Squirrel"? "Neutrogena"? "French Witch"? Lana doesn't know what it might be. "Dammit!" yells Lex. I know! Dagnabbit! When you come back, just dump her! Chloe says that she'll just upload the whole hard drive and try it later, pulling an iPod from her purse to do that. If you can't get into the computer without a password, I don't think you'll just be able to transfer the hard drive or anything from the server. But of course Chloe = Computer Magic, so we'll just have to believe that she did it. Lana asks what happens if Lex is really gone...forever. Does that mean I get to stop recapping? No? DAGNABBIT! Lex leans in and says not to worry; he'll find his way back to her. Chloe says that they'll get him back. Lana says that she's had so many doubts and suspicions about this relationship, but now that he's gone, none of it matters anymore: "I just want to see his face again." Lex comes around the other side to speak over her shoulder again: "Lana. I love you so much." She's so perfect! It must be love! Chloe removes her iPod from the computer as the files are done copying. She says that she'll crack it back at the Daily Planet, and that they'll either get a week's worth of footage of Lex sipping bourbon and diddling with his computer, or she'll hit the jackpot. Lex tells Lana not to go.

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