Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 4 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Maybe We Could Call Her 'The Tit'

Clark is at the Ace of Clubs. He turns on his superhearing by cocking his head to the side. He hears the Matt Saracen-henchman saying he just unlocked a mess of files on the laptop. I guess Chloe's weak encryption was so bad that common street thugs could get past it. Saracen Thug pulls up profiles of the Justice League. "Who the Hell are these guys?" Blagojevich, standing next to Saracen, asks. Yeah, sometimes we wonder the same thing, given we only see them once per season. Clark stops his ears and zips into action. He enters the counterfeiting room. We see an overhead view of the table and as Clark zips around it in slow motion, dollar bills start flying. Then we see that those bills are embedded with glowing green ink. Clark slows down and grabs his stomach as the bills are suspended in the air around him. The camera zooms in on Clark and rotates around the swirling bills. This proves the economy even hurts superheroes. Clark grimaces as the bills start falling. Then Blagojevich is there to punch Clark right in the face. You cannot stop corruption! Clark notices two big jars of green growing liquid hooked up to the printing press. It's Kryptocurrency. Clark's lip is bloodied. He looks to the right and sees Jimmy lying on his side on the floor, also beaten up. "Jimmy?" Clark says. Jimmy does not answer. He dreams of sweet, sweet smack.

Non-commercials. Did you know there was an app that lets you shake a baby until it stops crying? There's an app for almost anything! Only on iPhone.

Metropolis flyover. We're definitely getting our money's worth on that helicopter flight. Lois arrives at the Ace of Clubs. Out in front of the building, she finds Jimmy's smashed-up Nikon. It's engraved with, "Property of: JIMMY OLSEN." It does not add, "Junkie." "Jimmy!" she says. Yes. That would be correct. [A more subtle clue would have escaped notice. - Z]

Inside the building, Blago is kicking Clark in the stomach. If he keeps doing it long enough, he could call this act of violence, "Six-Minute Abs." Blago postures for a very long time, doing his acting business, then asks how Clark got back here. Eight seasons of looking pretty, really. Clark just grunts.

On the rooftop of the building, Lois is silhouetted against the giant moon. She climbs down some stairs to another part of the roof and finds a giant skylight directly over the counterfeiting room. It would seem unwise to put a giant window right above your very illegal operation, but that why I'm not in organized crime. I could never balance out practicality with a keen sense of interior design. Lois sees Jimmy on the floor and Clark being kicked. Lois says, "Oh my God!" and pulls out her cell phone. The battery dies on her. "Seriously!?" she says.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

Question of the Moment

Worst Horror Movie

Loading ... Loading ...

The Latest Activity On TwOP