Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | 640 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Little Orphan Luka

Later that night. Clark gets home from his gallivanting. He's upset that he didn't get to say goodbye to Luka. Bo tells Clark he's sorry. Here's what I don't get -- if Child Services was supposed to show up an hour later, why doesn't the damn car ever arrive to tip them off that it wasn't the real Child Services? Plot hole, thy name is Smallville.

Just then, a black stretch limo arrives. Lex needs a driver, now? What about all his sports cars? Lex, carrying a sporty cane, says he's going to Metropolis for the big Papa Luthor dinner. "I wanted you to have something," Lex says, and tosses his cane to Clark. It's actually not a cane after all -- it's a sword. And it's not even a sword. "It's a foil, Clark," Lex says. "Every hero should have one." Oh, I see. He needed the limo because it's full of pounds of cheese, glorious, cheese! Clark puts the foil away and says sadly that he guesses Lex is leaving, then. Lex says he hasn't made up his mind. Clark asks why Lex is giving him a going-away gift if he's not sure he's leaving. "Keep that away from the kid," Lex says simply, and starts to leave. Lex says he's sorry the kid is gone when Clark tells him about the departure. "For what it's worth, I hope you stay," Clark says. Lex, as he's about to turn back to the limo, gives Clark a long, lingering, hot, beefy, tremendously obvious look up and down, pausing slightly at the crotch level, and then walks back to the waiting car. It is an amazingly obvious choice for the Gayest Look of the Episode, and an especially smoldering one at that. Lex, you make it so easy sometimes. Lex goes back to the car, and the limo driver, who has had his back facing us, is revealed to be BeatDead Dad! Oh no! The limo pulls out.

Down the road in the limo. The car pulls over, to Lex's surprise. He asks why they're stopped. The window comes down to reveal BeatDead Dad's freaky eyes. A side door opens. Step-Step Ho and Luka pile in. BeatDead Dad comes in, too, and pulls a big gun on Lex. Lex recognizes the kid. "Shut up!" BeatDead Dad yells, and punches Lex in the chest with the gun. Lex, who seems to get beaten up in almost every episode, yelps in pain. The limo takes off with the Ho at the wheel. In the back of the limo, BeatDead Dad asks Lex for the password of his bank account. Lex says his father has it, he doesn't. Then how does he ever get money? "He's lying," Luka says. The evil dad cocks the gun at Lex. "The password. Now." The music speeds up. BeatDead Dad asks the kid if he's got the password. Luka nods.

Smallville

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