Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Little Orphan Luka

The newly remodeled Talon coffeehouse and shrine to Lana's lack of drama. Lana blah blahs, asking Clark how he likes having a younger brother. He likes it fine. Watch those coffee cups you're carrying. Lana makes it about her, of course, saying she always wanted to have a sibling. She also lames out something about how she sees Clark in a brotherly way -- he's always there for her. Here's an idea, Lana. Why not just ask Clark to slice off his testicles and hand them over to you in a jar? Because for as long as you're on the show, he won't be needing them. "Thanks," Clark says, seemingly unsure how to take the mondo diss.

Lex walks up behind Luka, who's sitting at a counter reading his comic book. "Warrior Angel," Lex says. He tells the kid he's a fan of the comic. "I'm --" "Lex Luthor," the kid interrupts. Luka looks at Lex as if he's been dipped in flaming monkey poo. "Clark told me all about you," Luka says. Damn, Lex is getting dissed. I guess Lex's charm bottoms out at the high school level and doesn't go much younger than that. The kid scoffs at what Lex is about to say -- that he has a first-edition framed panel from the comic. Lex asks how Luka knew that. "You're rich. That's what rich people do. Collect stuff." The kid has got total distaste going and Lex seems chagrined that he's getting such a royal cornholing at the hands of this middle schooler. Clark walks up and says he didn't know Lex was a comic-book fan. "A strange visitor from another planet who protects the weak?" Lex says. The cheese truck just pulled in at the back of The Talon for a delivery. The delivery guy says it's pretty gouda, but not great. Lex adds that Warrior Angel was his hero growing up: it helps that the superhero is bald. Lex says he has the entire collection. Clark asks if Luka wants to go over to Lex's and check it out. "Yeah, would you like that, buddy?" Lex asks. Hey, I don't want to give off a NAMBLA vibe here, but I'm not liking all this "buddy" talk. Luka, hilariously, says, "Whatever." Lex cocks his head a little and says quietly, "Whatever," with a smile on his face, and walks off. After he does, Clark notes to Luka that it was a pretty rude thing to say. Luka doesn't give a shit. He says Lex is leaving soon anyway. He says Papa Luthor offered Lex a new job. Clark is skeptical about Papa Luthor ever doing that. He tells Luka that he has to stop making up stories about people. Then he excuses himself. Luka looks down at the comic. In one panel, a superhero is breaking through a steel wall. Head popping through the wall hole, he says, "You're safe now."

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