Smallville
Subterranean

Episode Report Card
1 USERS: A+
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Alien Nation

Lair of Lex. On his laptop, Lex is watching the willow-tree massacre site excavation. This is a classy dig: it's even letterboxed. A man enters the room. Lex looks at him over his laptop, not seeming too happy about anything, and lays into him immediately. He says that when he told the guy to keep track of Farmer Moleman, he expected to hear about trifling details like mass murder. I am starting to think that Lex is being sarcastic. So evil! "Sir, I had no idea that he was killing his workers," says the employee. God, this sounds like an average day at the office for me. Lex advises the guy (who is a doctor) to get a stronger prescription for his glasses. Aw, Lex. You hurt the guy's feelings. He doesn't make fun of your bald head, does he? "They found corpses on that farm!" Lex hollers. The guy removes his glasses (again, not so cute in an episode featuring a mass immigrant grave) and says that all he knew was that the meteors gave Farmer Moleman the ability to displace minerals and burrow through earth. Like a man of moleness! Lex says that he didn't spend millions in research to have the test subject end up in jail. Jeez, how many projects does Lex have going at the same time? That seems like a huge waste of money unless Lex plans never to buy a shovel again. Lex tells his doctor to find Moleman before the authorities do. The doctor says that the man could be anywhere. "Then I suggest you start digging!" Lex commands. Sadly, the doctor also has shovel-shaped feet, so he's feeling awful low right now with all the insults. Lex is a terrible boss.

Nice flying shot over The Daily Planet. Inside, Chloe is wearing another alarmingly tight top to work. Clark shows up and tells her about the Moleman's escape. Chloe says that make sense, because she's discovered that he's "100% certified meteor freak." Nice. She says she found a story saying that their Moleman was buried underneath a mountain of Krytponite. How did Clark not hear about that when it happened? "That's why he went missing for three days," says Clark. Oh, this is just too hilarious. Clark never though to ask his neighbor about that? And never heard about the startling resolution to his disappearance? This show is so dumb sometimes. Or maybe it's just Clark. Chloe says that burrowing must help the farm: in the last year and a half, Moleman's farm has tripled productivity. Slave labor helps, too. Chloe has also figured out that the guy was his own border patrol, killing off workers so that they wouldn't tell the authorities. Clark can't believe that the guy who used to fish with his dad is now a murderer. Chloe says that Kryptonite can easily turn someone into a serial killer. Chloe suddenly picks up something on her police scanner. It's about a Hispanic person, about eighteen years old. It's in Granville. Chloe starts to talk, but Clark whooshes out before she can finish her thought. That's really got to be annoying for her. Why would her police scanner pick up Granville, but not be full of stuff happening in Metropolis that would drown it out? Best not to think about it.

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Smallville

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