Man, this episode's pretty serious so far, huh? And no Lana so far. Me likey. Commercials: remember when we still cared about The Osbournes? Like, two weeks ago?
We open on sad music and Bo Duke in a jail cell. He's wearing the orange jumpsuit. Wait, haven't I seen this before? I see from the credits that Jason Connery is back. Like the hospital, the jail is unusually colorful. Clark and MamaKent come up to the cell and ask how he's doing. He's in fucking jail. How do you think he's doing? Bo says he has a splitting headache. Then he asks how Papa Luthor's doing. MamaKent says he's in surgery and might not make it. Noooo! Bo asks about the gun in his truck. The gun's not in surgery. But it was the same one used to shoot Papa Luthor. Bo says it wasn't his gun, and that he has no idea how it got in his hands. We should ask your buddy, Mr. Jack Daniels. Clark asks what happened last night. Bo says he was out running some errands. Uh huh. "Errands." He says he went to the Wild Coyote for a beer. "Wild Coyote"? That's new. We suddenly flash to a grainy image of Bo having a beer at a bar. We flash back to it, and see him paying a bartender. It's very hazy, dream-like footage that we keep going back to. He says that things started to go woozy on him. Quick flash to him leaving the bar and then emerging from his truck in the rain onto what looks like the set of the rain scene in The Shawshank Redemption. MamaKent asks how many he had. He says he had half a beer. Yeah right, ya damn lush. He says the next thing he knows, he's on the side of Highway 91, he's got the police light shining in his face, and it's raining. Sounds like a country song. MamaKent says they need a lawyer. She says she's going to call her dad to take the case. Bo says her dad has never believed him before: he doesn't suspect an attempted murder charge would change that. Clark suggests that maybe Lana's new dad could help. He used to be a criminal attorney. Sheriff Ethan comes up and tells MamaKent and Clark that they're going to have to leave now. No real reason is given. Bo goes right up to the bars. He looks like he's going to cry. He puts a hand down, and Clark puts his over it. Clark vows to find who did this. Bo nods. "Yeah," Bo says, short and clipped. He and MamaKent kiss through the bars.
At the green and purple hospital, Lex -- my favorite bald man about town -- walks in and says he just got in from Metropolis. Jason Connery himself, Dominic the Drone, is holding a chart. He's no doctor! When Lex asks how his dad is doing, Dominic says he's still in critical condition. He says that if the downstairs maid hadn't been awakened by the shot, Papa Luthor would be dead. When did they get a new maid? Lex says he wants round-the-clock security. Whoever shot his dad, Lex says, might still be out there. Or in here? Dominic tells Lex to save the concerned-son routine. He says he has everything under control. "The loyal lapdog sitting watch at his master's door secretly hoping he doesn't make it?" Lex asks. Nice. Dominic reminds Lex that Lex almost let his dad die once, and who's to say he didn't come back to finish the job? Another nice one. Battle of the WB Network snappy innuendo! Dominic says that after the day before, Lex would have had enough reason to want Papa Luthor dead. Lex grabs Dominic suddenly and slams him against the wall. Sexy! Lex says, very forcefully, that what he finds so amusing about Dominic is that he actually thinks Papa Luthor is grooming him. Lex lets go of the guy's suit. Dominic says it's unfortunate that they already have someone in custody. He says he can't think of a better person than Lex to have a killing motive. Dominic walks off. Pissily.