Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 517 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You say "TorNAYdo," I say, "TornYAYdo"

Remy Zero! They're at the dance and they're singing, "Somebody saaaaaaaaave me!" The lead singer looks an awful lot like Lex. The guitarist is thrashing his piece even though this sounds like they're lip-synching. Folks are dancing, which, you know, I like this song and all, but it's not really something you can dance to. Unless you're Hedwig as a boy or something and you're just stomping your feet on your bed really fast. Everybody is wearing black tuxes. One detail they got wrong: in high school, there's always at least one dork who wears a baby-blue or white or gray tux. Fine, you caught me. I wore a gray tux to one of my proms. I was that dork. Pete goes up to Clark near the punch bowl ("Somebody spiiiiiiiiiiike me!") and tells him that Chloe is having a great time. We see her with Pete's Foxy Lady and they're laughing it up. Pete -- wearing a red bow tie -- says he's glad Clark stepped up. Clark agrees. "Hey, I like these guys," Clark says, pointing to the band. "Yeah. REMY ZERO!" Pete yells. Now, was that really necessary? The singer from Remy Zero looks sleepy, just like Lex in this episode. Maybe shaving your head all the time requires that much extra effort. More singing. One of the guitarists seems to have stolen a hat from Jamiroquai. They finish the song and everybody applauds. Hey, at least they're not Nickelback. Remy Zero starts playing another song, a slow one. Pete alerts Clark to the fact that it's one of Chloe's favorite songs. "Why do you think I requested it?" Clark says. Clark, you dawg!

Clark goes to get Chloe. He asks for this dance. They walk, arm in arm. A couple on the dance floor is kissing. Where are all the chaperones? Clark and Chloe start dancing. We go back over to the band.

Kansas road. The Remy Zero song is still playing as Lana drives, her eyes leaking big mascara-free tears. Storm clouds are all around the truck. Does she get to keep it while Jocko's gone? If so, score Lana! Lightning and thunder. Lana is wiping more tears. Trees are shaking. Papers are flying. Suddenly, a big batch of mailboxes slams into the truck, completely failing to shatter the windshield or even make a mark on it. Lana screams and the truck swerves. She lands right in a ditch, head pitching forward. Now there's a big crash in the windshield, but not from her head. Lana opens the driver-side door and falls out, breathing fast. She crawls to the road and finally stands. Three very fake-looking narrow blue tornadoes are in the distance. In typical Lana fashion, she just stands there, watching. Belying the conceit that she's from Kansas, Lana climbs back into the truck instead of lying in the ditch the way you're supposed to. Commercials.

Smallville

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