...and continues to play into the next scene. You know what? Maybe I've been a little harsh this season. Maybe I'm ready to embrace the light strummy stomach-heaving man-child vocals of these alt-rock bands. Maybe I'm ready to open my heart to you all. Creed? Three Doors Down? Goo Goo Dolls? Nickelback? Saliva? Let's be friends. PSYCH! You totally fell for that. Heh. No, seriously, you all still suck. And I say that as a friend.
Strummy alt-rock-crap scene where the music continues to play over my clawing of own eyes. Shot of Clark throwing a big wooden post into the ground. He's pushing several posts down to extend a wooden fence. Would we say he's fencing here? Clark takes each wood stake and drives it into the ground in an obvious homage to Buffy. There's been a lot of talk about Buffy vs. Smallville and I will say only one thing on the matter: nobody from this cast had the bad sense to star in a Scooby-Doo movie. That is all. Clark, in his red t-shirt, leans on one of the wood posts and does his best J. Crew brood. You can almost hear his thoughts: "Will leaning on this post make me look fat?" He throws on a denim jacket and gets into the blue Kentmobile. Turns the ignition. The truck blows up! Holy shit! How did we go from Smallville to The Sopranos so fast? Hilariously, the strummy music is still playing. I make up my own lyrics:
He got blown up
By a big explooooooosion.
And now he feels bad
He feels oh so sad
Cuz he can't drive to get a latteeeeeeeeee!
Why can't he drive away?
Cuz his truck's flambéd,
Can this song get wooooooooooooorse?
Clark blows open the side door with his mighty strength and gets out of the truck, flaming. Flaming, I tell you! For once on this show, fire actually causes something to burn -- in this case, Clark's jacket. He takes it off. His shirt is all ripped up and holey, too. He tears it off, Hulk Hogan-style, and several million viewers completely lose their shit. Clark shakes his head and just stands there, shirtless. We even get to see him from behind so all those amateur 3-D modelers out there can create their own Tom Welling in true Weird Science fashion. Except instead of bras on their heads, they're wearing balled-up Superman Underoos.
We cut through the same image of Clark, but through the viewfinder of a video camera. We're in a car, and that dirty, sneaky Nixon is holding a remote control that set off the bomb. Why does he need that if he already had it connected to the ignition? They just wanted to make him look more dastardly, I guess. Fine. You dastardly, dastardly man! We cut away with Nixon holding the video camera and looking sly and evil and, lest we forget, dastardly. Another Smallville truck dealership salesman gets his wings.