Tempest (1)

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | 1 USERS: A
You say "TorNAYdo," I say, "TornYAYdo"

So it's like nothing even happened. Clark is walking down the stairs at home buttoning up a shirt that's not in tatters. "So what do you think caused the explosion?" he asks, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Bo Duke thinks it was a leaky fuel line that ignited the fertilizer in the back of the truck. I thought there were just fence posts back there. Bo obviously has not been watching the show this season. "I'm sorry, I should'a checked it better." You just caused your son to blow up and that's all you can say? Bo should be on his knees, flagellating himself with a Cat-o-Nine-Tails. Clark says he's glad he was in there and not one of them. Because unlike him, they'd have ended up as Crispy Critters. Clark says he barely felt the heat this time, and the debris left no bruises. After hugging him, MamaKent looks at Bo with alarm, then tells Clark that he must be getting stronger as he gets older. By the time Clark is a senior citizen, his farts will shatter whole universes. Bo nods at MamaKent in agreement, caught unawares without a platitude in hand.

The Lex Lounge of Luscious Leisure. Lex is on a leather couch checking out some porn on his snazzy titanium Mac laptop. He's wearing sneakers! He's either reading or writing something about a modern empire. Then he switches over to a window with LuthorCorp financial information. Papa Luthor busts in. Doesn't Lex have any security of any kind that tells him when people are going to bust through the door? "You're not in a hurry to pack?" Papa Luthor bellows as he looks around. Lex says he's not leaving. Papa tells him to accept his fate. Accept the hate. Lex tips his hand early, saying he's forcing a vote on an employee buyout of the plant. Papa Luthor chuckles, pours himself a stiff drink, and asks what Lex is going to do -- ask the employees to take out a second mortgage? Um, yes. Lionel reminds Lex that even if he sells all his stock and blows his trust fund, he'll still come up short. That must not be much of a trust fund if it can't even buy a crap factory. Papa Luthor circles around asking where Lex is getting the rest of the money. Lex shuts his laptop and tells his dad that if Papa Luthor accepts the buyout offer now, he can keep his dignity. "That's more than you left me," Lex says. Papa says that's gracious, and drops something right on Lex's crotch. "You've bought the Smallville Savings and Loan," Lex says, looking at the crotchy papers. Papa tells him to go ahead with the buyout. As soon as the employees start missing payments, Papa won't hesitate to foreclose. Magnificent, you bastard! Papa says that the employees will be homeless, and it'll be Lex's fault. Can't they all just live in the castle? It can be the Luthor Commune. Lex looks defeated. Papa says that if Lex is going to take him on, he's going to have to bring up his game to a whole other level. That means rolling doubles in Monopoly, Lex.

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