Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
For The Love Of Ratings

I wonder why there aren't more lesbian vampires in ads. I'm up for that kind of commercial brainwashing.

Chloe's at her keyboard for the epilogue. She writes that the Tri Psis were booted off-campus, and that all the infected girls were treated at LuthorCorp. Chloe says that her Chica roommate was so freaked out that she transferred to NYU, leaving Chloe to room with Lana once again.

As we cut to a scene of Lana and Clark walking on the Met U. campus, Chloe says that it seems the two of them can survive anything. Clark asks Lana if she remembers what happened when she was a vampire. "Nothing coherent, thank God," Lana says, once again making me wonder how Chloe pieced her part of it together so well. Lana says she remembers one thing clearly: how she felt when she bit Clark. She felt warmth. "And love," she says, "and an overwhelming feeling of strength." Lana smiles and girlishly says that she thinks she felt what was inside Clark's heart. Now if she could only figure out what the posters of Orlando Bloom and the Frankie Goes to Hollywood music were all about, she might just crack this Clark Kent mystery. Lana says she's never felt closer to anyone in her life. She tells Clark she misses being with him. They kiss.

Stately Luthor Manor. Lex is pouring himself a stiff one. And not just because Clark is in the room. He asks red-t-shirted Clark how Lana's doing. Clark says she and Chloe are both back to normal. (Lex didn't ask about Chloe.) Clark says he knows things have been weird between them, but that he appreciates Lex's help. Lex says that means a lot to him. Lex says he's still curious as to how Clark know about Project 1138. For that matter, did Clark know it was a reference to THX 1138? Clark asks if it matters. Lex says it does if it came from SoFine. Clark asks what Lex has against the professor. Maybe that he talks shit about Lex in every lecture? Clark asks if that's why Lex stopped by class. Lex says that SoFine is poking into classified LuthorCorp documents. "He's only after the truth," Clark says. Lex thinks he's after more than. Lex warns Clark to be careful. He doesn’t think SoFine is the friend Clark thinks he is. Yeah, Clark. Watch your back.

Chloe, drinking coffee, prints out a copy of her story. She says in voice-over that the most exciting part isn't finishing a story; it's having someone else read it.

The story title reads, "Vampire sorority bites the dust." We see Pauline Kahn read the story in her office as Chloe stands behind her. Chloe asks if her multiple "Hmm"s are good or bad. Kahn says it's a good "Hmm." She says it would be good if the Daily Planet printed tabloid nonsense like The Inquisitor does: "Tall tales about slaying Buffy the Vampire don't make it into the pages of a real newspaper." Chloe insists that it's not fiction, and that they weren't mythical vampires. Just vampires created by alien meteor rocks. Because that's way more plausible. Chloe says that they were victims of a disease, and that she has interviews, eyewitness accounts, CDC reports -- everything. Kahn says that Chloe's writing shows she's not completely without talent. Chloe: "Thank you." Kahn adds that Chloe's not a real reporter yet. "Welcome to The Daily Planet, kid," Kahn says. Chloe grins and thanks her. She asks where she starts. Kahn says that Chloe will start at the same place Pauline did: the bottom.

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