Queen Tart says that there is the small matter of an initiation thing they do. She rears her head back and hisses really loudly, baring her vampire fangs. So do the others. Lana comically freaks out and tries to back away, but she's surrounded. "What the hell are you?" Lana asks. Queen Tart says they're Tri Psi, the hottest vampires ever. Lestat you think otherwise. Queen Tart uses a nail to cut a line down her tongue, drawing blood. Her eyes go creepy. They hold open Lana's mouth as the other (admittedly hot) vampires show their fangs and laugh. Word is that Kreuk didn't want to do a lesbian kissing scene, which would explain why the camera moves to a silhouette on the wall of Queen Tart leaning forward and kissing Lana flush on the mouth. Lana stops struggling, and her shadow starts getting into it. Go, college experimentation! I sure hope Howard Stern got to see this. Lana looks sleepy, but then she smiles and tries to be sexy. "Welcome to the sisterhood," Queen Tart tells her. Don't leave the toilet seat up.
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An extra-wide shot of Stately Luthor Manor. Lex is shooting some pool in his Lex Casual Wear. SoFine walks in and says, "Nice shot." He says it just as Lex is bending over, so make of that what you will. Lex says you've gotta know the angles. SoFine asks if that's why Lex has been looking into SoFine's past. The fact that he has a past doesn't seem to jibe with him forming from a pool of black alien oil just recently, but I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on. SoFine throws a file on Lex's pool table. "What's this?" Lex asks. SoFine says that it's his entire life, documented, to save Lex some time. The folder contains every achievement and failure all the way back to the day he was born is in there. Lex, staring at SoFine, asks, "And I'm supposed to just swallow all this?" Oh, sneak attack! It's the Gayest Look of the Episode! Lex seems to agree with my choice, because he tosses SoFine the pool cue to do what he wants with it. SoFine says that Lex wouldn't be the Great Lex Luthor if he did. Oh. Lex is a choker. SoFine says that Lex will spend a fortune checking and re-checking the information. He starts shooting pool and making every single shot, even the tricky ones. SoFine says that Lex believes everyone is hiding secrets as dark as Lex's own. Lex asks, "How did you get this?" The papers about his own life? "Just used my brain," says SoFine. SoFine must have slipped some stuff in there about Lex, because he says that the documents reveal that the younger Luthor is using funding to the university to conduct questionable experiments on campus. SoFine's voice runs all up and down in a weird accent as he says that. And to top it off? It's off the corporate books. Nooooo! Lex looks a little pissed at having been found out. SoFine finishes his last shot, sinking three balls at once. "I wonder what the Dean would think about that," he tells Lex. I'm sure he'd be very impressed with that shot, but I think you should stick to Lex's experiments, Professor. "Never start a game you can't win," SoFine advises. He gives Lex his stick back and exits. Lex tells his business-suited major domo to follow SoFine. "With pleasure, sir," the man says. Could you follow him with some menace instead? Lex leans against the table, bending forward, and thinks about his next move.