Episode Report Card
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Ghost Bad

Chloe gets out of bed and runs to the bathroom. Raccoon Girl is floating backward toward the sink. She slides through it and the wall in a flash of light. Chloe runs to the mirror. It seems that she's the fairest one of them all. Clark, in the doorway, calls Chloe's name. "She's in the wall," Chloe tells him. "Who?" Clark asks. Chloe says that they have to help her. Clark, condescendingly, says that they'll get the girl out of the wall. Chloe spins him and begs him to believe her, insisting that she's not crazy. People never sound crazier then when they're screaming that they're not crazy. Chloe asks Clark to please just look. Clark reluctantly uses his x-ray vision on the wall. There's a skeleton inside. "Oh my God," Clark says. It would be hilarious if he followed that with, "The plumbing work in here is terrible!" Clark punches through the mirror and pulls out a huge chunk of wall. By luck, he doesn't pound the skull into dust. The skeleton looks awfully old and desiccated. Clark winces. The skeleton has a bracelet on it with a large, round Kryptonite jewel. Clark backs away, nauseated, out the door. Chloe slowly turns and faces down the corpse. She reaches out and touches the bracelet. It glows brightly, and then Chloe is engulfed in green-white light. Possession is nine-tenths of the law on this show, apparently.

Clark is on the phone outside the room. "Yes, it's in the wall," Clark is saying. "No, I don't know how long its been there. No, this is not a prank!" I bet I can recreate the other half of that conversation to a remarkable degree of accuracy: "It's in the wall? Well, how long has it been there? Is this a prank? Is this that gay farmboy? Shouldn't you be at the medical center?" And then Clark goes, "Yaaaaaaay!" over and over. Clark barks at whoever he's talking to, demanding that he or she send the sheriff over. Who is the new sheriff? Lois comes in. She asks what Clark did this time. "Holy crap," she says as she sees the corpse in the bathroom. Chloe stares at Lois with Raccoon Girl's vacant look. Lois asks if she's all right. "Yeah," Chloe says. Her mouth twitches. The camera pans around Chloe until we see her in a mirror. Ghostly Raccoon Girl is in the reflection. "I feel much better now," she says. Chloe smiles. Her mouth twitches. The power of Christ compels you! To buy some shit!

Commercials. I like that we live in a time when a download of a Wynton Marsalis song gets its own commercial.

If you're just joining us, Kryptonite + ghosts do not make a great episode.

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