Clark and Chloe are all dressed up for a big charity event hosted by Oliver. They talk about how much time Clark is spending with Chloe, but it doesn't last long because Oliver shows up in a bad state. Everyone thinks he's drunk as he loses focus and stumbles around, but Oliver tells Clark, as he falls into his strong arms that it's actually poison and he has 12 hours to live. Clark and Chloe rush him to Isis, where Davis shows up to help keep Ollie alive. Meanwhile, Tess and Lois face off on whether she's qualified to cover this sudden Metropolis nightlife scandal. Tess knows all about Lois and Oliver's history, but astoundingly still assigns Lois to report on the story just because they broke up a long time ago. Yep. You can't trust The Daily Planet.
While he's unconscious, Oliver has flashbacks to a shipwreck when he was stuck on an island for two years. It was a magical island in that he didn't grow a single whisker of facial hair the whole time. Tom Hanks is jealous. While on the island, Oliver learns to use a bow and arrow and resists eating centipedes. He's also poisoned by an exotic pink flower. He wakes up, nursed by none other than Tess Mercer, known back in the day as "Mercy." Tess was a marine biologist who got kidnapped by pirates with her best friend. Oliver, nursed back to health by Tess and some leeches, helps Tess escape, but unfortunately Tess's best friend gets killed by the pirates, who were planning on holding rich-boy Oliver hostage.
In the present day, Oliver's date from the party, who was also poisoned, dies in the hospital. We learn that the poison is misdiagnosed by modern medicine. Chloe finds a cure herself with her giant new brain. Clark discovers Chloe's intelligence secret and we discover that it happened because of Chloe getting attacked by Brainiac. Chloe defends her new powers while Clark whines. Davis also discovers along the way that Chloe's super-smart, and is wondering why Jimmy isn't in the loop about it. They find that an antidote to the poison is held by LuthorCorp. Clark goes to Tess and asks for her help, but she says the antidote is too far away to help Oliver. Lucky for Oliver, his own labs have an antidote nearby. Oliver is saved.
Tess is attacked by the surviving pirate, who was also the person who poisoned Oliver and his date. She manages to hold her own for a bit, but Clark steps in to stop the guy from killing her. Tess doesn't see Clark's rescue, but does find it very strange that she was saved.
Lois confronts her feelings about her breakup with Oliver while Oliver confronts the way he and Tess broke up after their island love. He meets with her at LuthorCorp and we find out that after their breakup, Tess joined LuthorCorp and rose in the ranks. Oliver thinks that's what motivates her. Tess proves to be much the hardass these days. But she cares enough about Oliver to give him a document that seems to provide proof that Papa Luthor killed his parents. Oliver drowns his sorrows while Tess posts bail for the pirate and then poisons him with the toxic flower. She drives away in a car with the license plate, "NOMERCY."
Metropolis at night! Awwwww yeah! I'm gonna get my urban blight on! We hover over the city for a bit and then cut to something called the "Rainforest Preservation Foundation." We just had a major hurricane, the economy is in the men's urinal and nobody can afford gas. Let's save the rainforest! It's a gala party with a jungle theme. Some people are dressed in loincloths and flowers. Guess who's crashing the party? Chloe, wearing a nice strapless dress, and Clark, wearing a surprisingly sharp suit, are at the bar. Clark is wearing his press pass on his breast pocket. Yet, he's drinking a martini on the job. No, Clark! Bad journalist! Chloe jokes that global warming is just an excuse for taking your clothes off. You don't need an excuse, Chloe. Clark wisely hands the martini to Chloe instead of drinking it himself. He says that Oliver has raised a lot of money for this event. It's $500 a plate. $1,000 if you want food on it. Chloe says she's happy to hang with Clark, but surprised that Lois disengaged Clark from her hip. Clark says they're not always together. Chloe says that Clark sees Lois more than she sees Jimmy. Maybe it's because Jimmy has been missing for two episodes. Clark asks what Chloe is trying to say. Chloe gives a wistful, "Never mind." She says she always thought she'd be the one circling Clark's typos. Oh, I'm sure there are plenty to go around. And also: shut up, Chloe. You're the one who gave up journalism for counseling. Clark says that Lois doesn't circle typos, she underlines them two or three times. Oh, my AP Stylebook hurts. Clark says that Lois couldn't leave early because she already pissed off the boss, Tess. Chloe calls her a "Luthor wannabe." Clark says that Tess may be a Lex supporter, but that she's been civil with him so far. Chloe thinks Clark's opinion has something to do with Tess being a total hottie. Clark says that Lex knows his secret and that if Tess is following Lex's footsteps, she may find it, too. Chloe adds that if Lex chose Tess to carry on in his name, she must be dealt with carefully. Chloe notices that Oliver is walking in with a very attractive, very tiny model who is wearing a stunning blood red dress. Photographers, who are somehow inside the party instead of on the red carpet outside, snap tons of photos. Oliver raises a glass as his model friend walks away. Oliver takes a sip as the photos continue. He tries to put his drink on a tray, but stumbles and almost falls. Nice one, Chevy Chase. Chloe jokes that Oliver's party must have started in the limo. Clark doesn't think Oliver would show up drunk to his own party. Oliver doesn't look so great. From his point-of-view, we see the flashing cameras dance around in a drunken haze. Oliver touches his tie, then stumbles again, landing on a nearby gentleman. He hits the ground. Clark helps Oliver up as Chloe tells the paparazzi to back off. Clark says he knows Oliver's not drunk. Clark wants to get Oliver to a hospital. Oliver, sweaty, says, "No! No hospital!" Clark asks what's wrong. Too... many... hospital scenes... on this show! Please! I'm begging you! Take him somewhere else! "Poison," Oliver says. Dramatic music plays. Oliver says he has 12 hours to live. That's half a season! Oh, wait. He probably means in episode-time.