Smallville

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Clark at the club. The party is still going. Oliver who? Clark dials Oliver's phone, then uses his superhearing to hear where the other end of the line is ringing. Everything goes neon and fuzzy. Clark hears that the ringing phone is going off outside. The phone is on top of a purse, which is on top of a woman, who is on top of a stretcher being led out to an ambulance. Clark rushes outside and asks a police officer what happened. Without even glancing at Clark's press badge, the officer says the woman was found in the bathroom and she'd OD'd on something. He says she'll be lucky to make it to the hospital alive. Thank you for your discretion and for your positivity, officer. You are truly one of Metropolis's finest.

Isis. Oliver is now hooked up to a heart monitor. It goes, "Ping!" Chloe tries to encourage Oliver to fight whatever's ailing him. We zoom in on Oliver's damp face. His eyes are moving rapidly under the lids. It's flashback time!

Quick cuts of an island and a guy, presumably FutureOliver, shooting an arrow. Then we see Oliver washed up on a beach. He's wearing a white see-through dress shirt. The camera pulls back. Angels sing. He rolls over. Crawls up on the rocks and sand. He is evolving. Soon, he won't need fins or gills at all. He sees broken pieces of wood and a nearby jungle. The sun is setting. Oliver stands up. He yells, "Hello! Can anyone hear me?" No, dude. I think you need more bars in more places from Sprint. The camera pulls back, way back, until we see an island and some clouds. I think he's alone now.

Commercials. Lauren Conrad is guest starring on a CW series! I'm sorry, I don't know who that is or what this show is that she's guesting on. But good luck with that!

Oliver at Isis. He lolls his head around. We don't linger long. Soon, we flash right back to the island where we left off. Oliver, looking more grizzled (but with no facial hair) is crawling through a very fake-looking jungle. Once you've watched Lost for a few seasons, it's very hard to look at other so-called jungles on TV. Oliver has caught a giant caterpillar. He starts talking to it, explaining that he normally wouldn't eat something with more than 99 legs. But, he says, he hasn't eaten for days. Oh, just eat it. Stop playing with your food. Oliver decides it's a bummer and he'd rather let the thing go than allow himself to survive. Dumbass. "You win," he says and puts the creature down. He notices something else, though, as silly jungle drums play. A boar is nearby. Oliver tries to chase it clumsily. It gets away, of course. No bacon for you, slowpoke!

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Smallville

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