...Or is he? In a prison exam room that looks a little too high-tech for criminals, a doctor is telling a shirtless Papa Luthor that something in his test results just can't be. Papa asks him to spill it. The doctor says that Papa Luthor's liver is entirely disease-free. Papa Luthor chuckles. He asks how that's possible. The doctor says it's the closest thing to a miracle he's ever seen. He asks if Papa Luthor has been taking any medicine or supplements recently. "Not that I know of," Papa says. Papa Luthor says he has no recollection of the past few days. He says, very seriously, that something inside of him has changed. He sounds very emotional. "Profoundly," he says, "I'm not the same man." Wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that he's going good? Because as much as I'd like to see the Smallville version of A Christmas Carol starring John Glover ["not this one, though, I assume" -- Wing Chun], I would really, really miss his Magnificent and Bastardous ways. I'm not feeling too good about this one, folks.
Smallville High. Clark finds Chloe walking down the hall, and says to her annoyed back that he doesn't know what he did to her. She says it sounds like another convenient case of amnesia. He apologizes. Chloe spins on him and says he's used up his lifetime allotment of apologies. She tells him he should look for help. Clark stares, blankly. "Some psychological help," she says more quietly. Oh. Help. Clark says he doesn't need any. "How else are you going to explain this?" Chloe asks. "Clark Kent, crackhead?" Ha! Clark says he doesn't do drugs. Except for the occasional red Kryptonite. Clark says it wasn't him. Chloe says that whenever this happens in this crazy town, deep down the people are still the same person. "Lana. He's all yours," Chloe says as Lana walks up to them.
Round 2: Lana. She asks if Clark's said anything to anyone. Well, he was just talking to Chloe and he had a conversation with his parents earlier and..."What?" Clark asks. He says he doesn't know what she's talking about. Lana pulls Clark aside and says that Jason could lose his job. She patiently explains that they're a couple. Clark suddenly figures it all out. Lana asks Clark again, pleading, to keep their relationship a secret. Clark gets sad that Lana has a new boyfriend, but agrees not to say anything. She says that keeping secrets seemed to be the one thing he was good at. Lana walks off. Sorry, Clark. She's right, though.