Smallville
Transference

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Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Liver Let Die

Penitentiary. A heavy door swings open and blue-shirted, khaki-wearing Clarkionel walks in like he owns the joint. In fact, he probably owns several joints by now, stashed in his pocket for later smoking. It's good to be the Clarkionel. Poor Papa Clark is sitting at a table waiting for his dashing visitor. "What do you think?" Clarkionel asks of his new ensemble, holding up his arms and showing it off. Papa Clark, nursing a nasty black eye, wonders why he stuck with plaid for so many years, hoping it would come back in style. Clarkionel thanks Papa Clark for taking time for a visitor, joking that he knows how time-consuming making license plates can be. Hee. Clarkionel notices that Papa Clark is holding something in his hand under the table. This is how dumb Papa Clark is: it's not even a solid-topped table. Jeez, man. Clarkionel does X-ray vision anyway to be sure. Yep. It's the body-switching rock. Papa Clark is actually surprised when Clarkionel calls him out for it. He warns Papa Clark that he'd never catch him, what with his superspeed and whatnot. Papa Clark doesn't think that he'll get away with it. Au contraire, mon convict. Clarkionel says that Papa Clark knows that true power is better left concealed. Papa Clark thinks that everyone from Clark's parents to his friends will see right through Clarkionel. Clarkionel says that they haven't so far. Clarkionel pulls out a tape recorder and tells Papa Clark to say the name "Meehan" and a few numbers. Papa Clark doesn't want to. Clarkionel threatens death upon Lex. Funny how of all the people he could have threatened in Clark Kent's life, he stuck with the winner. "But he's your son!" Papa Clark whispers in horror. "Your only child!" Clarkionel points out that this precious son was the one who put him in prison and took everything he has. Papa Clark, with tears in his eyes, gives in and says the name and numbers into the recorder.

The Barnness of Embezzlementude. Clarkionel is calling his bank account again, this time with the recorder handy to say the right code words. You mean to tell me the operator doesn't pick up on the fact that it's a completely different voice? The operator tells Clarkionel that his account currently has $2.59. Hey, that was my account balance all through my first three years out of college! "No! No, no!" Clarkionel says. He tells the woman he had $57 million. The woman tells him that a withdrawal for that amount was made two months ago. The customer support doesn't seem very robust for an account worth multimillions. "The day I was convicted," Clarkionel whispers to himself. He squeezes the phone till it breaks apart in his hand. "Lex!" he hisses. "Sprint PCS!" I add. The "Can you hear me now?" guy suddenly feels a piercing, stabbing pain in his heart and falls down dead. Someone walks into the barn. It's Lana Lang. Clarkionel looks over his shoulder at her, looks back our way, and sighs. "This one," he says with a tone of supreme annoyance. Yes! Score one for the Lana-hating fans.

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Smallville

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