Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Liver Let Die

Why, to Lex Luthor's lair, of course. Clarkionel waltzes right in, asking if Lex is crunching numbers or spinning daydreams. Do what, now? He goes right for Lex's liquor cart, opening a decanter and inhaling. Lex says he didn't remember Clark being a big scotch drinker. No, but I hear when he's in his cups, Clark doesn't mind drinking down a tall Scot. Ooh, oh, noooooo! I snapped on Clark, hard! Clarkionel tells Lex it's hard to resist a twenty-nine-year-old Highland. There's another joke there, but I think it's the one I just told. Lex smiles, amused that his friend is playing Big Sophisticated Drinker. Clarkionel says he had a feeling Lex would pillage his father's collection of single malts. He has a malt machine, too! Lex's house rules! Lex asks how Clarkionel knows that the scotch came from his dad. Clarkionel asks if it isn't all his dad's: the cars, planes, the castle, the cuffs in his sleeves. Lex says he knows Clark well enough to know this isn't Clark talking. Clarkionel agrees wholeheartedly that he isn't himself. He takes a sip of scotch. "I'm under stress," he tells Lex, and adds that he needs to get his hands on $57 million. Lex says that's an interesting amount. Clarkionel says it's not Lex's money; Lex stole it. Now Clarkionel wants it back. A rushing sound amps up like an approaching train. Lex quickly zips to his right to grab a gun from a box on a stand. As Lex points the gun, Clarkionel superzips away. Clarkionel is there and choking Lex before he even knows what's happening. Lex drops the gun. Clarkionel pushes Lex toward a phone and tells him to call the bank to wire the money over or he'll snap Lex's larynx like a twig. He slams Lex's head hard onto a desk. "Go ahead," Lex struggles to say, "kill me." Clarkionel says he always wanted the best for Lex and Lex destroyed him. "Dad?" Lex manages. Clarkionel suddenly gasps and falls to the floor. As he does, we see MamaKent standing right behind him holding out a glowing green Kryptonite rock. Lex coughs and falls to the floor, not noticing MamaKent's heroics. She goes to him to help. We hear a whooshing sound, and by the time MamaKent looks up, Clarkionel has escaped.

A phone rings in the Kent kitchen. Bo Duke walks in from outside and answers. MamaKent is on the line and hysterically says that she's been trying to reach him, and asks where he's been. Bo says he was at the mechanic's, and that the tractor is shot. How exactly do you get a tractor to a mechanic? Do they have a tow-truck for tractors? Don't farm machinery mechanics do house calls? Oh yeah, there's a scene going. Let's get back to that. Bo is rubbing his neck with a hand towel. MamaKent tells him he has to go to the closet to get a meteor rock. They just keep those around like mothballs? What if Clark wants to get an old jacket out of there? Bo asks what MamaKent is talking about. "Lionel is in Clark's body!" MamaKent yells. Bo is about to mourn the loss of his son's innocence, but just then, Clarkionel zips in, takes the phone, and grabs Bo by the shirt. "I thought I was invulnerable now," Clarkionel hisses, "but I was wrong. Tell me what weakens me." Doesn't he have superhearing? Didn't he hear what MamaKent said on the phone? Bo pretends not to know anything. Clarkionel tosses Bo across the room. He hits some cabinets atop the old refrigerator and lands hard on the kitchen floor. Ow! Clarkionel strides over as Bo amusingly shakes off glass like Chester Cheetah used to flop his head side to side in those commercials. Clarkionel grabs Bo by the neck and lifts straight up to the ceiling. The phone rings again. The answering machine picks up. It's Nebbishy Ned! He's looking for Clark. "Houston, we have a problem!" he repeats brightly. Ned says he's done more reading and it's not good. What is it, like Danielle Steel or the New York Post or something?" Clarkionel drops Bo. Ned says that Clarkionel should see him ASAP. Whoosh!

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