Papa Clark pleads for help. Ned looks around to make sure no one's watching, and lifts a wall poster to get something hiding within the wall below it. The guards don't check that once in a while? Haven't they seen The Shawshank Redemption? Ned whips out a Mayan rain god statue. He says they found it in an underwater ruin off the coast of Honduras. It looks like any little ethnic-looking statue you could buy at Pier One. Clark asks how he found it. Nebbishy Ned says that Papa Luthor had teams scouring the globe for artifacts carrying ancient symbols like the ones found on the statue. He says they've been found in Egypt, Central America, even some Indian caves in Kansas.
Papa Clark plays dumber than usual: he says that the symbols seem to look like they mean something. Ned takes the bait. He says that the symbol in Papa Clark's hand is for "water," which, of course, means "transformation." Or "douche." It's sort of a double meaning. I like how squirrelly Ned acts. Papa Clark asks how he knows all this. Ned says he's really into pattern recognition and code cracking. He points to a symbol that means "fire," and a Superman crest-looking one he says means "air." Ned says that you take the three and put them together and...Yahtzee! He makes a little triangle with his fingers. He says it'll lead to a trove of knowledge beyond your wildest dreams. For Clark Kent, that would be like a GED-equivalent.
Ned says he didn't believe this stuff either until about an hour ago, when body switching turned out to be as real as...well as real as Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan! Ned goes all goofy and giggles as he touches Papa Clark in the shoulder. Papa Clark asks what Ned did to land in prison. Ned says he was accused of embezzling $14 million from the Princeton pension fund. Papa Clark asks if he did it. Ned mumbles that money doesn't mean much to him. He's rockin' it with translating the Dead Sea Scrolls. "You know what happened? I was framed," Ned says. Papa Clark asks if he just happened to end up sharing a cell with Papa Luthor. "Yeah, pretty lucky, huh?" says Ned without a trace of irony. Ned says that Papa Luthor is hooking him up with some lawyers to try to get him free if he translates some symbols in exchange. Ned just hopes the guy lasts long enough. "What do you mean?" asks Papa Clark, innocently. Ned says, "He's dying." Papa Clark looks at himself in the mirror. "He's dying. That means...I'm gonna die." He's so sad. John Glover rocks this scene. But then we already have come to expect that.