Clark is kidnapped from the Barnness of Plotitude by some Kryptonite Taser-wielding thugs. It turns out it's an elaborate plan by Papa Luthor to enslave Clark in a kryptonite-lined cage because he's freaked out that somebody keeps sending him secret messages about "Veritas." Veritas, it turns out, was a rich-people society that Papa Luthor was a part of, along with Dr. Swann, the Teagues, and the Queens. Dr. Swann's hot daughter Patricia shows up and accuses Papa Luthor of killing all of them (except Dr. Quinn: Medicine Teague, who was iced by Lana). Patricia reveals that Veritas knew that a traveler from Krypton was coming before the meteor shower and that they swore to protect him. She thinks Papa Luthor killed them all so that he could have Clark for himself. Patricia tells Lex just enough about all this to freak him out, especially when she produces a childhood drawing Lex did of the Veritas symbol. She and Lex were childhood buds. Meanwhile, Chloe and Lana try to find Clark and believe the only way to do that is to rescue amnesiac Kara from Lex Castle. They do so using Lana's knowledge of Lex's secret entrances (I thought only Clark knew those). Chloe transports Kara to the Fortress using Clark's octagon, but leaves Lana behind for unexplained reasons. Jarnelle hears Chloe's plea to help Clark and restores Kara's memory. Kara rescues Clark from Papa Luthor's evil lab by destroying everything in sight. There's also a mean Kryptonite freak-hating henchman who tortures Clark, but he's hardly worth mentioning. Later, Patricia tells Clark how much Dr. Swann admired him and gives him one of her dad's special science journals. Clark treasures it. She decides to move to Metropolis to help Clark "The Traveler" Kent through his journeys. That lasts about three seconds because on her way to Metropolis, her driver stops the car and shoots her in the head. And here I thought she was really smart and knew how to protect herself. It turns out Lex was behind the murder. In the end, he plays with a bloodied necklace she'd been wearing, one that has the Veritas symbol on it. Clark goes to Papa Luthor, prepared to hate him, but Papa Luthor pleads with Clark that he was only trying to protect him and that it was all a big misunderstanding. Clark decides that Lex and Papa Luthor might be lost causes.
In case you haven't heard, we have some new management on board at this site. Of course, as soon as I got the news, I had the same question you might have and it was addressed in a very quick phone call:
Omar: Are you going to make me take all the gay out of my recaps?
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: How gay are we talking here?
Omar: Well, you never know with this show. Sometimes it's not gay for a long time. Like Spike TV. Other times, it comes back around in full force. Like a Project Runway marathon.
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: Just keep doing what you're doing. Did you have any other questions?
Omar: Will there be delicious cupcakes every morning?
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: Were there cupcakes before?
Omar: Not really.
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: Then no.
But enough cupcake politics. We begin on the Metropolis skyline at night. Papa Luthor is at his LuthorCorp desk staring intently as a set of papers that someone was nice enough to three-hole-punch. Papa Luthor takes his fancy pen and writes on the sheets, "Please, God, just one more season, please. Renovating a Manhattan apartment is freakin' expensive!" Papa's assistant, whom we can't see, hands over a piece of paper and says, "You've received another one, sir." Damn that Ed McMahon and his pesky publishers and their clearinghouses! Will they never stop! Papa takes the card as if it's a ticking time bomb. He tells the assistant that he doesn't need any more help for tonight. The envelope has a familiar maroon wax seal on it with a fancy "V." I know it's for "Veritas," but it would also be nice if it was an invitation for John Glover to come perform in The Vagina Monologues. I would pay cash money to see that. Papa drops his pen nervously. He picks up a swordy letter opener and violates the envelope. He reads the card within, but we can't see the text. Papa Luthor breathes deeply and warily. We cut to a view of him from outside his office window. As opera music is playing, he stares out into the night. He looks to the stars.
The music continues as we see the same blanket of night over Kent Farm. We pan across to reveal the inside of the dark Barnness of Nonilluminatitude. Clark is walking up to the loft. He turns on a lamp and opens a desk drawer. He finds a book and opens it. Inside is an octagon-shaped hole cut out with the Octagonal Disc of Fortress Visiting lying inside. Clark forgot why he came up here. Oh yeah! Octagon! Nearby, we see the shapes of shadows lurking about. Clark hears something. He starts walking toward the stairs. Doesn't see anything. "Lana?" he calls. A green string flies toward Clark and stabs him in the chest. It's a Taser string! And not just that, it's green. A Kryptonite Taser! Genius! Don't tase him, bro! They totally do. Some Patton Oswalt-looking dude in a black cap punches Clark in the face while the green Taser cord is still locked on Clark's chest. Patton Lite punches Clark and they both fall down, knocking over the railing and landing on the ground level of the barn. Clark pulls out the Taser spear from his chest. It glows bright green and looks like a tiny harpoon. Clark staggers to his feet. He throws Patton across the room just as the guy was reaching for his giant Super Soaker-like Taser gun. Into his wristwatch walkie-talkie, Patton says, "Bring him down." Who knows why the dude was trying to take out Clark by himself in the first place, but his buddies show up wearing Rainbow Six gear. Curly Taser cords start flying at Clark from all directions, tagging him all over the torso. We'll tear your soul apart! Or at least your shirt! He clenches his fists and looks up at the sky as the camera pulls back. Nooooo, brooooo! Suddenly, Batman's giant tank SUV shows up and more soldiers come out to attack Clark. He falls to his knees as bright lights shine at him from all directions. Not-Patton Oswalt comes up to Clark, grabs him by the hair on the back of his head and looks straight at him. "I can see why they want you," he says. Whoa! This may be the earlier Gayest Look of the Episode we've ever had. Patton is clearly infatuated and wanted some alone time with Clark before the whole military squad showed up. Sorry your quickie got ruined, dude. He kicks Clark in the face because he can't kiss him. Clark lies on the ground, all scuffed up. "Target acquired," the guy says into his radio, which is a separate device from his wristwatch communicator. And what a pretty target it is.