Smallville
Trespass

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Stalk Show Host

On a cell phone screen, we see news video of Lana emerging from the back of The Talon. Then we see Lex in the back of his limo watching the video on his Sprint phone. Hey, Lex, you should watch the Green Arrow show next! Lex dials a 3 to get to Brady. Awww. Brady is in his top 5. You don't think they're Secret Luvahs, do you? Lex barks into the phone, "I turn on the news and this is what I see?" At least you're not seeing stuff about Anna Nicole Smith. It's really depressing. Instead, Lex saw his girly girl scared out of her mind on TV. Brady, at the apartment above The Talon, says that they have the situation (or "sitch," if you will) under control. Lex says that he doesn't share that optimistic assessment, and that he's cutting his trip short. Like Verne Troyer short. Lex orders Brady to get Lana to LuthorCorp Plaza (because that building is so secure), and to shoot anyone that gets within a hundred feet of her. Security Eyebrows stands nearby as Brady agrees. At the apartment, Brady tells Lana, who is sitting on the couch with Chloe, that they have to go, and that LuthorCorp is the only place where they can guarantee Lana's safety. Lana, still sounding sick, stands and asks if that's not the first place the stalker would think to go. That doesn't mean it's not a good place, does it? Chloe unhelpfully says, "That's the first place I would look." Well, why don't you stalk Lana, then, Miss Picky? Security Eyebrows offers, "Miss Lang," and then shuts up. Lana says that the only place she'll be safe is the last place anybody would think she'd go. Pluto? Because that place isn't even a planet anymore. She tells them to get the car ready. Brady tries to interject something about Lex, but Lana says that Lex isn't there. Who wants to party? Lana tells Brady that unless they plan to kidnap her, she's going to go where she wants, so he'd better follow her orders. Everyone exchanges tense glances. They should play Twister right now.

Kent Farm. It's snowy. Now, if they took a car from The Talon to the farm, don't you think the paparazzi would have followed? Do paparazzi not have access to ground transportation? Wouldn't a high-rise offer better protection? Wait, I forgot. Lana's smarter than everybody else and is always right. MamaKent opens the door to Clark's bedroom and allows Lana in. Couldn't they have given her MamaKent's room just to keep it from being so weird? Brady, already in the room, tells Lana that the room is secure (and very gay), and that the men are posted on the grounds. Brady says that he'll be right outside the door. Lana tells MamaKent that she knows this is a terrible (and awkward. And politically dangerous) intrusion. MamaKent says that if you're taking the Luthor name, armed guards and dodging the press go with the gold ring. Lana says she's hoping that it won't always be that way. MamaKent asks if there's anything else she can do. Lana says that she's going to sleep. Then she asks if it's all right with Clark. MamaKent, ever mindful of her son's feelings, says that Clark can survive a night on the couch. They bid each other goodnight as MamaKent exits.

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Smallville

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