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True Lies

Now, why they gotta put on a good episode right toward the end of the season? Usually, this is the "offal" (or "awful," if you prefer) part of the season, where they dump all the inspirationless crap (remember the bee-girl episode?) up until the blow-out season finale. How dare you produce an hour of fairly good (fresh, even!) television, Smallville! I curse you!

All right. I'm better now. It was a dark and dewy night. A LuthorCorp van pulls up in front of a cute little house. A besuited guy we haven't seen before gets out of the van with his briefcase, looking forward to a night of high-definition TV rife with bikinis and very little back fat. (Sensing a trend here, readers? I'm jonesing for HD, y'all! HD!) A maroon car -- a Cougar, maybe -- pulls up. Ms. Chloe Sullivan gets out, leaving her headlights on, and comes to the guy. "Chloe! I thought that was Gabe's car," he says. I guess someone's borrowing the prop Beetle that Chloe usually drives. One Tree Hill? I'm looking in your direction. The man starts to comment on how long it's been since he's seen Chloe, but she reminds him that they haven't talked since her dad was fired from the plant. It's an accusation, buddy. Don't be all innocent with your HD channels and your pretty briefcase, probably full of naughty DVDs you picked up on the way home. I'm onto your digital lifestyle. "How's he doing?" Digital Guy asks, with what sounds like genuine concern. Chloe says her dad never expected to be doing the "Human Resources shuffle" this late in his career. Is that like the "Super Bowl Shuffle"? Hey I'm just asking. I don't mean to start no trouble. Digital Guy says he's sure shit will work out. Chloe counters: her dad sent out dozens of inquiries and hasn't even gotten a nibble. That personal ad just isn't working out. And he hasn't gotten any inquiries on his résumé either! Life sucks! Chloe flatters Digital Guy by saying she knows he keeps his ear to the ground; she asks if somebody might be sabotaging her dad's job search. Digital Guy says he'd do anything for Gabe, but that he and his co-workers are being asked to be part of new experiments they want nothing to do with. He ominously says that Gabe would be better off putting LuthorCorp far behind him. Now, if you'll excuse Digital Guy, it's almost time for girls bouncing on trampolines. In High Definition! Chloe looks cold in the rain. She turns around and takes a gander inside Digital Guy's van. His LuthorCorp employee badge is hanging from the rearview. Oh no! It's Danger Chloe!

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