First off, thanks to Tippi for subbing last week while I wallowed in the technology orgy that was South by Southwest Interactive for work. It was my first break in almost five years, which goes to show that you can be drastically loyal to pretty much any chunk of pop culture for an extended period of time if somebody's paying you for it. It helps if it's a little gay, to pass the time.
Onward! We open on Stately Luthor Manor at night. We're viewing it from the outside, looking at a large stained-glass window. Inside, we see a painting showing Jesus being tended to by the Apostles. At least, I sure hope that's Jesus, or the stained-glass artist has a terrible sense of humor. A bald, serious-looking priest is sitting below it. Wait a minute, this isn't Luthor Manor, it's a church! Way to fool me, show. They both look like castles with lots of stained glass from the outside. In fact, I'm not convinced they didn't just recycle a chunk of the manor from an angle we haven't seen before. The priest slides open a panel in the confessional. That's a fancy confessional booth to have expensive artwork inside. A man, in silhouette on the other side of the panel, asks to be blessed, for he has sinned. He's hurt a lot of people. Al? Miles? PS3? Is that you? The priest is curious. Hurt a lot of people, eh? That sounds juicy! Let me get my blog software up. The man confessing, whom we can tell from the handsome profile is Davis/Doomsday, says that something inside him takes over. It's a beautiful song! "La la la LA!" No? No time for a song? All right, then. You'll be sorry when we take this thing to Broadway, CW Network. If that is your REAL network name. Davis leans forward against the partition and we can see his face lit. He says it's a beast. Inside of him. It's named Murray and it only wants to watch The History Channel. The priest, who has a cool little white beatnik beard, says that we all have our inner demons. Heck, I like to wear Uggs under these robes. People say I'm crazy, but I tell them the Lord works in mysterious ways to keep my feet awesome.
The priest adds that Davis must control these urges. Davis, shaky, says he's trying. Davis says he drives through Metropolis at night looking for a way to save himself. He wishes there were some sort of theme song about somebody saving me, but he's at a loss. As he's talking, his face flashes orange and we do a cool, seamless transition to Davis driving his ambulance. Davis says there's pimps and thieves and so much crime on the streets. What are you, Rorschach from Watchmen? Davis stops the ambulance in a shady warehouse area and sees what appears to be an assault that makes a young man drop to the ground. In the ambulance, Davis balls up his fist and turns on the siren. The assaulter, who has stringy long hair, scrambles and runs. Davis, flashlight in hand, runs to a boy who's lying on the ground. He is telling the priest in voiceover that when he finds someone who's lost their way, he reaches out. The boy is reaching out for a vial of drugs on the ground. Davis crushes it with his boot. Davis picks the boy up roughly and yells, "GO HOME!" in his I-am-turning-into-a-monster growl. The boy runs. Davis puffs some breath. The assaulter, who has a thin moustache to match his greasy hair, stands against a fence, unable to climb. Davis approaches him. He tells the priest that when he finds evil, he does everything in his power to put it at an end. Davis's eyes light up red as the guy says he's not even a cop. Davis grabs the dude and throws him against a car, shattering a window. He snaps the guy's neck as his eyes flash red. We hear a sickening crack. Davis says that when he stops the wickedness he sees, it keeps the beast from coming out and makes him feel human. Good... for you?