Stakes are high on a plane. Clark opens up a bottle of champagne. He thinks it's Diet Slice. He pours as Tess, in the background, says she doesn't think Oliver would appreciate them busting into his private reserve of 1990 Cristal. Yeah, well, Oliver's not in this episode, is he? Clark says it's a long flight and Oliver wouldn't mind. "About Lex's journal," Clark segues, in a not-at-all-smooth way, "he's gone now, so you can tell me." Tess brushes that aside. She says she wants to talk about Clark. Wow, this is a long flight. Tess says they've downed two bottles and that Clark seems to have a superhuman ability to ward off drunkenness. "I have a strong metabolism," he says. "Me too," she says. She doesn't seem tipsy, even. She says she can hold her liquor like no other. No other what? She says it's the Mercer gene. Apparently "Daddy Dearest" could finish off a fifth before lunch at the mill. Clark wonders what she's measuring a fifth of. "That sounds tough," Clark says. He has no idea what he's talking about. Mill? Fifth? He must think they're talking about boxing or something. Tess says that it wasn't the Norman Rockwell childhood Clark had at the farm. Norman who? Clark is so lost and drunk and confused. He just wants to go home and hug a cow. Clark says nobody's childhood is perfect. Tess bitterly says that Clark was probably read fairy tales at bedtime (no, that was Lana). "Not like what my dad did," she says. Clark sits down. Tess apologizes for bringing this up and says Clark doesn't need to hear that. Clark says it's all right. Tess says she had blue sheets she'd put over her head to feel like she was under the ocean. She'd hide and pretend to be The Little Mermaid, waiting for a prince to rescue her. She says her dad would come in. She gets a faraway look. "The bastard shattered my eardrum," she finally says, "and he broke my arm. Three times." Clark frowns. Trying to lighten the mood (please! Do that!), she says Clark probably didn't expect the in-flight entertainment to be her True Hollywood Story. She looks vulnerable for just a moment. "I'm just glad it has a happy ending," Clark says, lame as always. Does the happy ending include that awful line? Because that would be a pretty crap ending. Clark says, "Look at you now." Tess thinks she's just good at covering her tracks. She asks about Clark. He asks why he'd need to cover his tracks. She fires back, asking why Lex would have an entire room devoted to Clark. Because he was hot for farmboy ass? Just maybe? Tess says she's seen the photographs, the crushed Porsche, the bullets. Clark says he can't explain Lex's delusions. Tess says Lex was a lot of things, but delusional wasn't one of them. "Clark... we all have our deepest, darkest secrets. I just told you mine. Now tell me yours." Clark almost falls for it, it seems. She watches him expectantly. Clark closes his mouth. "There's nothing to tell," he finally says, "what you see is what you get." Tess hardens. She is surprised and a little angry. She stands up, grabs her champagne glass and walks away. She asks the pilot through an intercom how the weather looks in L.A. He says the skies are all clear. She walks to the farthest seat she can find and puts down her drink. True confessions time is over. Asshole. Just when things couldn't get more awkward, there's a bump of turbulence. The lights blink. "What's happening?" Tess asks.
Episode Report CardOmar G: B- | 1313 USERS: B-
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