Smallville

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Mistakes on a Plane

We flash back to Davis in the confessional. The priest advises him to stay on the righteous path. Kill some bums and whores. Stay human, buddy. God loves ya. He is advised to overcome evil with good. Davis has to think about that. He kisses his rosary and gets ready to leave. Wow. Intense. But I'm sure Clark will show up any minute and ruin the mood.

Opening credits. Commercials. Sears isn't going out of business despite this crap economy, and don't you forget it. Wanna buy a washer/dryer? SEARS WILL BE HERE WHEN YOU ARE READY.

Kent Farm, daytime. The cows can't believe this shit got renewed for a ninth season. What farmer does a cow have to blow around here to get some early retirement? Inside, Clark, dressed in a natty dark suit, is coming down the stairs looking supremely confident. He's going to be the best-dressed choreboy ever! Clark goes to the kitchen table and grabs a backpack we've never seen before, a bright red monstrosity that even a fashionably stunted German schoolboy wouldn't wear on a trip to America. Does it go with the suit? It does not. Chloe comes in without knocking. She's wearing a purple scarf that also would not go with the egregious backpack. She says she hasn't seen Clark this pumped since he threw the winning pass for the Crows in the State Championships. I kinda like the State Championship on Friday Night Lights better. That had me pumped. Clark agrees it's tough to top that, but thinks he might have done it last night. Oh no. Did he have sex with a tailor? Chloe says she heard about Clark's night. She says it was like his "coming-out party." It's a little late for that. One day, long ago, I would have made an easy gay joke, but these days it only works if you're feeling nostalgic. But they still try, don't they?

Chloe pours herself some coffee that Clark probably didn't even make and says that Clark had more saves the night before than Billy Graham at a revival meeting. I think it's just called a "revival," Chloe. No meeting. Clark thought she'd be happy about his new dual identity. He stands there with his silly backpack strapped to his shoulder. Chloe asks if Clark had to make a Red-Blue Blur appearance on every traffic cam in town. Cark says that slowing his super speed enough to appear on video is not easy. "I wasn't even sure it worked the first few times," he says playfully. He sure got over Lana fast. Come to think of it, so did I. Chloe thinks he might be overdoing it. Clark says he'll take that chance if it gives people hope. Chloe hopes that Clark's rush to inspire "Joe Sixpack" doesn't reveal his real identity. Clark says the newspaper is the perfect cover. Yes, we newspaper people have lots of time to go fight crime in between not getting fucking laid off every single day. It's perfect. Chloe asks if he's going to change clothes in the middle of the bullpen. As a matter of fact, Clark says, he's been working on that and getting really good at it. "Watch," he says. He blurs out and reappears, blurring down the stairs in his red jacket and blue shirt. Oh. Wow. You shouldn't have. That outfit is a red-blue BORE! (Snap, snap.) Big ups to my dead friend Mr. Blackwell. I'm tipping over a 40-ounce dry martini in your honor. Chloe grins. I joke, but this is the kind of cute, fun moment the show could use more of. How about taking a break from killing motherfuckers every week to do a little enjoyable character development?

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Smallville

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