Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Zod & Kal-El Go to White Castle

Random storage yard, night. John Corben has somehow tracked down one of the shipping containers full of Chloe and Oliver's Kryptonite goodies. How did he find it? Who knows? He stumbles around between shelves stacked high with various green goos and weapons. He's also sweaty and shirtless, but the giant, metallic, crablike pump embedded in his chest takes away almost all of the beefcake appeal. He finally finds a case that contains three bottles of green liquid. He fills a syringe with it and injects himself in the arm. Green liquid travels through a clear plastic tube that goes from his elbow to his shoulder. He groans and cries out as the chamber in his artificial heart flashes with green light. Clark super-zips onto the scene just in time to see the green flash. He takes a step toward the shipping container as John kicks the doors open. Clark, weakened, falls back. [What did Clark think was going to happen when he tracked down the stockpile of material that can kill him? - Zach] He and John regard each other with lusty, open-mouthed stares. They're either relishing the thought of a rematch or contemplating what to make each other for breakfast. Before we can find out which option it is, two fireballs blast through the sky and into the shipping container. Kaboom! Lots and lots of kaboom! Clark frowns, confused, until Zod zooms out of the sky and lands in front of him. Zod takes a few steps toward him, gives him a flirty little smile, then zips away. Clark stares after him, simultaneously confused and impressed. He thinks to himself, "I bet Zod would like an omelet." Commercials.

Lois drives up in her car and sees the smoking remains of the shipping container. Why is she just now driving up? Where was she before, if she's the one who took John there? Why do I even care? She gets out of the car, calling out for John. He calls back to her from somewhere within an adjacent warehouse: "Lois, stay away!" She calls to him again and again he warns her away. She goes looking for him anyway and finds him stark naked. Either the fire burned off his pants or he pooped himself in the blast and wanted to change. He holds a small crate in front of his groinal area. "Glad to see you're looking so good," Lois says. "Thanks," he says shyly. "You look pretty good, too." She clarifies that didn't quite mean it like that. Looking away, she takes off her coat and hands it to him. He thinks they should get out of there before the Blur comes back. "The Blur did this to you?" Lois asks, stunned. John has no idea how the Blur tracked him down so Lois stammers some blather about how he may have been following a "well-meaning source." "And," she adds, "you did kind of go 'phantom of the boiler room' last time you entered stage right." He stares at her and wishes the blast had taken out his eardrums.

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Smallville

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