Commercials: Grounded for Life. How long will it be unjustly on the air? Probably for life.

Lair of Lex. I know Lex usually drinks orange juice these days, but I didn't know he'd switched to Tang. Oh, wait, that's Dr. Tang. As in the beautiful Asian scientist now wearing an elegant pantsuit. Lex actually looks like he's pouring coffee. She storms in: "Thanks to you, the University has threatened to revoke my tenure. My funding has been cut off!" I thought the idea of tenure was that it couldn't be revoked. Lex says he guesses that's the consequence of conducting illegal drug trials without bothering to notify the university or the FDA. Lex says she's lucky no federal charges have been pressed, but that it may just be a matter of time. "What exactly is it that you want?" Tang asks. Lex asks her to do what she does best: "Biology." She asks how he expects her to do that. With frogs. They won't even let her into the university building anymore. Lex says he's going to fund her research. How many research projects do the Luthors have out there? Couldn't they cure cancer in there somewhere? He tells her to consider her budget doubled, and she'll have access to any equipment she needs, as long as she tells Lex where the platelets are and what she's using them for. She looks stunned, but not altogether frowny on the idea.

Upstairs at The Talon. Poor Man's Wes Bentley is moaning in bed. Oh, Lex! Wait, it's just a nightmare. Oh, Pete! PM'sWB, shirtless, throws back the covers on the bed. He's moaning and hacking. His eye is bleeding again. He grabs a needle and shoves it in his stomach. It looks like he's got weird scars all over his torso. He breathes heavily. Lana knocks at the door. He says he'll be right there. He finally answers. His chest looks fine, but he's all sweaty. Lana tells him that she didn't tell anyone his secret, but that she deserves an explanation about "Chad Nash." He starts bullshitting that this is bigger than Lana realizes. He asks Lana to forget about it for her own good. Lana can't. She says thatif he's going to live there, he's going to have to be honest with her. "You want the truth?" he asks. He leans up close. "I'll make it real clear to you. You tell anyone what you found out and you're going to regret ever meeting me." So much for his taking Lana's virginity. Lana is scared and pissed. He looks at her coldly and backs into his room. He shuts the door on her. The pwetty pink pwincess is going to cwy.