Newspaper. A photo of Poor Man's Wes Bentley is staring at us. The headline: "Tulsa Valedictorian Dead at 17." You all do know there's only one high school in all of Tulsa, right? PM'sWB tells Lana that everybody has someone who looks like him or her. "Chad Nash doesn't just look like you," Lana says sternly. "Chad Nash"? Ha! "Karate team, orchestra, computer club," Lana lists from the obit. She says that those are all things PM'sWB is a master of. He got all that expert knowledge from a high school in Oklahoma? According to the article, Lana says, PM'sWB died five months earlier of a rare liver disease. I think I may die from this episode. He asks whether Lana has shown the article to anyone. Lana says no. "Are you sure!?" he demands. Lana wants to know what's going on. He twitches a bit and tells her she can't reveal this to anyone. His left eye starts getting really red. Suddenly, the eye begins to bleed. Ew! He doesn't feel it, so Lana has to tell him he's bleeding. "Happens all the time," he says reassuringly. He says it's just a broken capillary. From watching Rob Schneider movies. Lana asks if he's all right. Oh, sure, just a little eye-bleed. PM'sWB grabs Lana by the arm and leads her out of his room. He roughly tells Lana that she has to promise not to tell anyone about his, um, death. "My life could depend on it," says Bloody Eye Bentley. Lana nods. He closes the door on her then winces. Lana backs away from the door. She sees through a mirror reflecting inside the room that he rushes to the bathroom, looking sickly. Couldn't Lana just throw his ass out?