A town road on a foggy night. The red Kent truck stops at a well-lit intersection. MamaKent is driving. She starts to say something, but Clark is in his own little world, with wide dance belts and paint colors from Ralph Lauren. MamaKent goes back to driving, but stops short when Clark yells, "Watch out!" Two cars blaze in front of them, coming within a foot or two of the truck. The cars are going fast. One of them is trailing some green fire from the tailpipe. Clark unbuckles his seatbelt to get out of the car. "They're going to kill someone!" he says, by way of explaining his departure. Clark never misses a good killing! MamaKent: "So...I'll just...stay here then, shall I?...Right."
2 Fast, 2 MadeforTV action. A yellow car and a red car speed past us, carrying enough neon to light up a Sonic burger stand. A neatly aligned set of two car rows, lit by flares, are at the finish. The town has suddenly been invaded by tricked-out custom cars. The racing cars slow, the red car winning by a car length. A crowd of extras comes over, cheering. Loud, gear-thumping music is playing. I really need some Ibuprofen. Clark superzips into the scene, but goes into sudden, weird slow motion. Maybe his timing belt is off this week. Clark feels out of place among these "teens." Sneaky Pete emerges from the driver's seat of the red car. He's wearing a racing jacket that says "Erice" on it? "Enya"? Oh, "Enyce," a line of urban wear that Pete's probably never really heard of. Why not "FUBU"? Some dude with squinty eyes yells to the crowd that the reigning king of speed, "Pete 'The Boss' Ross," has won. Clark is stunned. Some Christina Aguilera-lookin' girl in leather kisses Pete on the cheek. Oh, sweet victory. Clark can't believe it. Or be happy for his friend. Remember: Clark is a dick these days.
Opening credits: "Hi, I'm John Glover. I'm not exactly sure where I went either."
We return to a back road amid houses and barns. Loud house music is thumpin' thumpin' as the red Kent family truck is driving along. The music is coming from a large barn, and the red racing car is parked half-in, half-out of the front barn door. Other cars are parked haphazardly outside the barn. Pete and Squinty Eyes Guy are messing around in the trunk of the red racer. A metal cartridge holding glowy green fluid is mounted in the truck. "Whoa, Dante, that's some serious green," Pete says. If you're going to keep saying stupid shit like that, Pete, we're going to revoke this "Pete-centric" episode. "Dante" (ew. I'm not going to call him that) says that he upped the meteor-rock ratio in the batch of nitrous for the car. Pete goes, "Wooo!" and says that the guy ought to be working for NASA, since the cars are going to be like rockets. You know what I'd like right now? A rocket to anywhere else but this episode. Pete does the White Man's Fist Bang with Squinty Eyes Guy.