Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!

It's still daytime at Isis. Papa Luthor is there for some reason, writing something down on a yellow piece of paper. It says:

"Dear Lana, if I should die this season and you and Lex decide not to come back, I think we should start our own show and call it Three If By Sea. It would take place on a small boat. I would be the captain and you and Lex would be a married couple and we would bring celebrity passengers and have exciting adventures all over the world. Think about it. I've already got some writers from Bionic Woman attached. I don't think that show's coming back. If you think it's a good idea, just act brain dead for the rest of the episode and I'll know you got this note. Lots of love, Papa Luthor. AKA: Captain Papa."

We hear a loud whoosh and then we see Clark open the door and come into the room. So Clark can move in super speed, but only until he gets to the door? He'd rather open it at regular speed so it looks more dramatic? Papa Luthor tries to explain that he came to see Lana but couldn't find her. Clark tells him to save it for the police. He starts looking for her, calling Lana's name. Papa tells Clark that they're running out of time and calls him, "Son." Clark tells him he already destroyed the life of one son and he doesn't get a second chance. Cooooooold-blooded! Clark can't leave a mean enough line alone and says, in case we need more explanation, that Papa's real son hates him as much as Clark does. Papa says that doesn't matter because he has to tell Clark something. Clark thinks Papa's just trying to wash his hands of Patricia's murder, just like he did The Queens and Dr. Swann. "You haven't changed," he tells Papa Luthor. "No, Clark, no!" Papa says, convincingly. He sounds like he's about to cry. Clark sees a cup of coffee, still steaming, on the table. Do you know how long it takes coffee to get cold? Like, under a minute. You mean to tell me all this happens just seconds after Braniac and Lana had their little meeting? Papa tries to explain that it's not important what Clark thinks of him. He says there are things Clark has to know, like the fact that he's kept Clark's secret longer than Clark thinks. Clark says he should have listened to Bo Duke and not trusted Papa. Papa starts loosening his tie (he really should go back to wearing a turtleneck) to show Clark the necklace and the key. Clark, thinking Papa is stripping, gives him a weird look. "You're less human than I," Clark says. And I like it! It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Papa says he has to give Clark something. A lapdance? He tries to hand Clark the necklace. Clark doesn't want it. It smells like an evil man's neck. He just wants to know where Lana went. Papa doesn't know. Papa says the receptionist told him Lana had a visitor and that she left. There was a receptionist? She didn't hear Lana talking to Braniac? Clark hears the word "Visitor" and takes off. Papa nervously leaves the envelope with his writing on it. It says, "Lana Lang URGENT!"

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