Stately Luthor Manor at night. A meteor sails across the sky. Make a wish on a falling Zod! Clark juts through the double doors. "Lex!" he hollers. The camera sails around Clark in a horizontal swoop. Lana appears across the room wearing a very flattering red halter top. Gotta say, evil has done great things for Lana's looks. Lana is on the offensive. Oh, you men with your superpowers. I'm going to have another drink while you beat each other into a bloody pulp! And then I'm going to laugh and laugh. Lana strides across the room while she tells Clark that he'll never find Lex. Clark says that Lex is in trouble. Girl trouble. Lana sets an overnight bag on he piano, and asks whether Clark really thinks she'll believe that he's there to help. Clark says that he doesn't want anything to happen to Lex. "Like what?" Lana snaps. "Like having your best friend turn against you?" When has Clark been Lex's best friend lately? Lana says that she heard Clark and Chloe talking about killing Lex. Yeah, that's pretty bad as overheard news goes. Lana says she shouldn't be surprised that Clark knew Lex would come back different. Clark plods forward: "You can't stay with him. He's not what you think!" He's The Gay! No, wait, he's not anymore. Carry on, then. Lana says that Lex told her his secret and it didn't change the way she feels about him. You broke up! Can't you guys stay away from each other for one episode? Clark falters, and then wonders if what happened to Lex doesn't scare her. Lana says that she's not going to abandon Lex, and is careful to enunciate so Clark doesn't think that she said "I'm not going to start a band with Lex." Because that would totally break Clark's heart. Again with the wooden lines, Clark says, "Fine would not give him powers unless he wanted something in return." He just wants a robot sandwich. They don't even make them here on Earth. Lana moves her head around like she's got a neck cramp. Clark says that it's not over, and that he can help Lex if she tells him where he went. Lana asks how she knows Clark won't hurt him. "You know me," Clark says. Oops! "No, I don't," Lana tells him. Lana says that she can't tell which side of Clark is the real one. I'd say the side that's all ass. Clark gulps. Lana lays it on thick for this line: "If you have ever really cared about me, tell me what's happening to Lex." Clark's lip twitches on the side. "Lana, please," he says. Dude, just tell her something! Damn! You don't have to spill all your secrets, just tell her you think Lex is going to be inhabited by an alien and that the alien wants to kill everybody. "You don't trust me. You've never trusted me, have you?" Lana scoffs, seriously. Then she takes her own dagger, an earthen one, and twists it into Clark: "I don't know how I could have ever loved you." Long, hurt looks. Lana takes the bag with her extra-full set of clothes for evening wear, toothbrush and Neutrogena, then leaves the Lair of Lex.
Episode Report CardOmar G: C+ | 613 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT