Smallville
Vessel

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Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
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Kneel Before...Lana?

Smallville Medical Center, home to the highest health care insurance premiums in the country. Clark is allowed to just walk in and see a non-family member (again), Papa Luthor. "You found Lex!" Clark says as he enters an exam room. Nobody's bothered to take care of Papa's numerous face wounds as he rubs his shoulder. He's sitting up. Dude should be in traction for a year after what just happened. Instead, it's like he fell of a curb lined with pillows. Papa struggles to tell Clark that Lex was in the field, but that he's...he's something. He's changed. He's straight! Nooooo! God, no! Anything but that! Why, God, WHY!!!!?? Clark asks what happened to Papa Luthor. Papa says that everything SoFine has done was to prepare Lex for this. Including teaching history class? Papa says that Lex now has the same powers as Clark. Papa is worried about what Lex will do with his powers. The tympanis thunder. Clark asks what that means. Papa answers that Lex wasn't raised the way Clark was, and that Lex was ruthlessly brought up to survive at any cost. Papa Luthor gets off the exam table and puts on his watch. Are you sure you're not the one with miraculous healing powers? Also, doesn't Papa have his own team of doctors? What's he doing in this shithole? Clark thinks that the ruthless parts of Lex might be what save him and help him fight off the vessel business. Papa says Clark sees that in Lex because he wants to. Luvahboy. Papa says that there's always been a dark force inside of Lex. It's called The Penetrator and it requires a separate AC adapter. Papa says that if Zod is truly the badass that Clark believes him to be, it's easy to see why he chose Lex as his vessel. Papa limps around the room, dressing himself: "What about Lana?" Yes, let us return to that very important subject. Papa says that she's a very important part of Lex's life now, and that Clark should be careful deciding what he'll do. Papa asks Clark which one he'd be willing to sacrifice. The girl! Sacrifice the girl! Then Papa exits. Well, uh, thanks! Catch ya later then? Should I just tell the doctor that you...er, that you're fine? You'll take your own helicopter home? All right then. Later, Papa Luthor. We'll be seeing you, I guess.

LuthorCorp jet on a runway. MamaKent and Lois are on the very swanky private plane. Lois says that if you're going to fly, you might as well do it in the lap of luxury. So long as luxury doesn't get a boner. MamaKent tells Lois to enjoy it because she'd never have done this if her flight hadn't been cancelled. Oh, sweet rural repression. As they settle into their absurdly comfortable-looking chairs, Lois says that she thinks this won't be the last time MamaKent flies the friendly Luthor skies. Mile high humor! MamaKent says that it's just a friendly gesture. Lois makes "doubtful" noises, and points out another friendly gesture: a bottle of champagne with a note attached. MamaKent reads it. She smiles, and says that Papa Luthor can be a very generous man. Lois stares at MamaKent, as the jet engines rev up. MamaKent says that she's not interested in a relationship with Papa Luthor or anyone else. Lois asks, "Really?" her subtext being, "You fucking liar." Lois asks whether MamaKent is just worried about how Clark would take it. MamaKent gives her a shocked look. Lois backs off, but only temporarily.

Stately Luthor Manor at night. A meteor sails across the sky. Make a wish on a falling Zod! Clark juts through the double doors. "Lex!" he hollers. The camera sails around Clark in a horizontal swoop. Lana appears across the room wearing a very flattering red halter top. Gotta say, evil has done great things for Lana's looks. Lana is on the offensive. Oh, you men with your superpowers. I'm going to have another drink while you beat each other into a bloody pulp! And then I'm going to laugh and laugh. Lana strides across the room while she tells Clark that he'll never find Lex. Clark says that Lex is in trouble. Girl trouble. Lana sets an overnight bag on he piano, and asks whether Clark really thinks she'll believe that he's there to help. Clark says that he doesn't want anything to happen to Lex. "Like what?" Lana snaps. "Like having your best friend turn against you?" When has Clark been Lex's best friend lately? Lana says that she heard Clark and Chloe talking about killing Lex. Yeah, that's pretty bad as overheard news goes. Lana says she shouldn't be surprised that Clark knew Lex would come back different. Clark plods forward: "You can't stay with him. He's not what you think!" He's The Gay! No, wait, he's not anymore. Carry on, then. Lana says that Lex told her his secret and it didn't change the way she feels about him. You broke up! Can't you guys stay away from each other for one episode? Clark falters, and then wonders if what happened to Lex doesn't scare her. Lana says that she's not going to abandon Lex, and is careful to enunciate so Clark doesn't think that she said "I'm not going to start a band with Lex." Because that would totally break Clark's heart. Again with the wooden lines, Clark says, "Fine would not give him powers unless he wanted something in return." He just wants a robot sandwich. They don't even make them here on Earth. Lana moves her head around like she's got a neck cramp. Clark says that it's not over, and that he can help Lex if she tells him where he went. Lana asks how she knows Clark won't hurt him. "You know me," Clark says. Oops! "No, I don't," Lana tells him. Lana says that she can't tell which side of Clark is the real one. I'd say the side that's all ass. Clark gulps. Lana lays it on thick for this line: "If you have ever really cared about me, tell me what's happening to Lex." Clark's lip twitches on the side. "Lana, please," he says. Dude, just tell her something! Damn! You don't have to spill all your secrets, just tell her you think Lex is going to be inhabited by an alien and that the alien wants to kill everybody. "You don't trust me. You've never trusted me, have you?" Lana scoffs, seriously. Then she takes her own dagger, an earthen one, and twists it into Clark: "I don't know how I could have ever loved you." Long, hurt looks. Lana takes the bag with her extra-full set of clothes for evening wear, toothbrush and Neutrogena, then leaves the Lair of Lex.

The camera shifts slightly to reveal SoFine standing behind Clark. "And to think...her loyalty could have been yours," SoFine says. Oh, you robot fiend, shut up! I'm trying to have an acting moment here! Don't fuck with my Emmy reel! SoFine says that Clark could have been honest with Lana, and that now, Zod will cherish her allegiance. Why, exactly, would Zod want some moistened, unemployed, annoying, suspicious, no-personality-having, pocket-sized, witch-channeling Earth dink on his jock? Is Zod that stupid? Clark turns and punches SoFine right in the chest: "She's my witch-channeling Earth dink!" SoFine goes flying, crashing into Lex's shelves. "Leave Lana out of this!" Clark warns. SoFine, kneeling, looks up at Clark like a badass, and says that it's Kal-El's own fault. SoFine reveals that Clark was supposed to be the vessel, but Jarnelle's spirit was too strong in him. Quite the opposite, I thought. Hasn't Clark resisted Jarnelle every step of the way? SoFine tells Clark that if he had released Zod the first time, they would have been spared. What, there'd be like three humans out of several billion who would survive? That sounds like a crap day of Scrabble, if you ask me. SoFine offers Clark one more chance. Clark says that nothing could make him release a monster like Zod, but SoFine says that Clark's one weakness might: humans. SoFine elaborates that they're so fragile, and that they wouldn't survive without their technology. Goddamn. He's got my number, all right. SoFine adds that if you take that technology away, humans will devolve into the animals they really are. No fair, ggroowr! Growwrr rroowrrr, rrowwr! (Grrr, growl, grrrr, heh heh.) SoFine says that Clark can't save all of them. Clark steps forward and tries to be menacing: "I'll never do what you want." SoFine has an answer for that: "Then it begins." SoFine puts his hand on Lex's laptop. The screen fills with Matrix-like text, only it's Kryptonian symbols. Lights blow out above them. "Enjoy the show," SoFine says.

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