Smallville
Vessel

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Kneel Before...Lana?

Metropolis. All the lights go off. The Daily Planet planet stops spinning. Blackout!

Commercials. Poseidon. Currently drowning in bad reviews at a theater near you.

Metropolis. Still dark. Inside the Daily Planet, workers are running out of there like there's a donut sale on the street. And nobody's bothering to carry a notepad to write down what might be the biggest story of the year. Nice one. There are sirens and alarms. If newspapers reacted this way every time the computers malfunctioned there would never, ever be a newsprint medium again. Clark asks Chloe what's going on. "I dunno. You tell me," she says, and shows Clark a laptop screen full of Kryptonian gibberish. Clark says that it's already reached Metropolis. He knows that because he's standing there. Chloe asks whether he knows where it started. Clark tells Chloe that it started on Lex's computer, and thinks if anyone could figure out the virus, it would be Chloe. Chloe from 24. Chloe says that she's been tracking the virus (with what computer?) and adds that after it took out communications, the virus started hitting the city's infrastructure. "All because of me," says Clark. You just stole Lana's line. Clark says that his hand is being forced because he won't help release Zod. Chloe says that he's playing hardball because elevators, gas mains and subways are all affected. She says that it's like Y2K on acid. You mean Y2K when nothing really major happened? On acid because of the green color on the screens? Note to whomever wrote that line: there's a fine line between clever and stupid. Chloe turns on an old radio and catches a news broadcast that is somehow being put out without electricity, computers, or gas mains. Maybe it was a podcast recorded before everything went to shit. The news "broadcast" says that the sudden collapse of the city's infrastructure is causing injury and panic throughout the city. Damn, people, chill! There's already looting and riots. You people are such pussies. Really. The radio says that there've been reports from as far as Denver of similar shenanigans. Chloe says that if this continues, every major city in the world will be infiltrated. Chloe turns as she hears a car screech. The front end of a vehicle slams through the stained glass windows of the Planet basement. Clark super-zips, and we see him put his arm around Chloe and pivot her in slow motion, as glass flies toward them. Clark does a full turn, then holds a hand out, stopping the car in mid-air. Slick move. Clark and Chloe look at each other. He starts to walk off. Shouldn't you exchange insurance information or something? And the driver of the car didn't notice any of that? Chloe tells Clark that he can't save everyone. Clark says he can't release Zod. In an impassioned little rant, Chloe asks whether maybe the solution is to do what Jarnelle says and destroy the vessel. More tympanis. Clark looks around. He says that he doesn't want to leave Chloe there in case something goes wrong. "You have to," Chloe says. It would take Clark about three seconds to pick up Chloe and drop her off at the farm. Why is that too much trouble? Clark walks away. Why is Chloe the only staff member in the building right now? "Clark!" Chloe calls. Clark stops. "I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again," she tells him. She goes to him and kisses him. It's about seven seconds of hot smooching in profile. When they break, Chloe rubs Clark's well-defined cheekbone. A phone rings. Clark turns to it, then turns back to Chloe. She touches his cheek again. Clark goes to the phone, as Chloe tries to decompress. Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts. Clark picks up the receiver in what looks like an ancient phone booth. "Hello Clark," says the voice of Lex, "I heard you want to see me."

Mistakes on a plane. Seriously, this plotline is just...ugh. If you couldn't figure out something to do with MamaKent and Lois in this finale, why not just let them stay at home and talk about their love lives some more? This isn't even tacked-on; it's Post-It!-noted on. MamaKent is reading. Lois is napping, but is awoken by a thud. Lois asks MamaKent whether she'd tell her if she had drool all over her face. MamaKent just chuckles. Oh, you classless lass. Lois sighs, and asks what time it is. MamaKent says that it's ten minutes to nine. Lois asks why they're not there yet, and adds that they should be strolling down Pennsylvania Avenue by now. And that's not counting the time-zone change, is it? MamaKent says that she lost track of the time. I thought on a private plane they'd at least tell you the flight status. MamaKent blames head winds. Lois says that they'd have to be gale-force, since they were supposed to land an hour before. MamaKent tells Lois to relax, and that she's sure it's just a normal delay. Lois opens the window curtains. She may have flunked geography, Lois quips, but the east coast doesn't usually look like this. MamaKent comes over. All they see are clouds rolling by and mountains. Aren't there mountains anywhere along the east coast? We cut to the cockpit. (Dirty!) Professor SoFine, in a pilot's uniform, is flying the plane. Trouble!

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP