Smallville
Vessel

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
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Kneel Before...Lana?

Back at the barn, SoFine is on his knees. Wind rustles. "What have I done?" Clark asks. Dumbass!

Fortress. A beam of red light shoots from the Ice Dildo Collection. A Kryptonian symbol sails up to the sky.

Back at the Barn. "You've opened the portal for Zod!" SoFine yells. Lex stares. An open portal? He's totally turned on. Gayest Look of the Episode.

A red beam shoots from the sky into the barn. It connects with SoFine's back. The beam ricochets through him and toward Lex, up in the loft. Clark is thrown back. Lex screams. A purple beam shoots out of Lex and back at SoFine. SoFine disappears in a flash of light. Clark looks over at Lex. "Lex?" he asks, "Lex?" Lex turns, slowly, and walks to Clark, but stands on a step higher to get some height. "You have your father's eyes," he tells Clark. "Hello, Kal-El," LexZod says. Clark asks where Lex went. "Lex is dead," he is told. Clark asks why Zod is here. LexZod says that it's for the same reason anyone who's been imprisoned like a beast comes back: revenge. Apparently, Jarnelle banished LexZod to an eternal hell trying to save a doomed race. Guess it wasn't so eternal after all, huh? LexZod recaps that Clark was the only survivor of that effort. Clark says that it's between the two of them, and that Earth can stay out of it. Not so much. LexZod knows that Clark feels no greater pain that seeing other people in agony. Clark warns that he won't let the dude destroy Earth like he did Krypton. "You don't have a choice," LexZod says, "unless you join me." Clark vehemently says he'll never do that. Close-up on LexZod. He hopes Clark can live with that decision forever. He removes a shiny bracelet and holds it up. Holy portal! The bracelet, which is shiny and makes waves in the air, floats toward Clark. It shoots past Clark and into the night sky. It flashes way out there. Clark turns to LexZod. LexZod nods. The star in the sky sucks Clark backward toward it. Part of the barn window breaks as Clark crashes through it. The light in the sky flashes brightly again. LexZod is pleased. Nothing is better than sucking off Clark.

Commercials. Another X-Men movie. I think I'd like to just take a break from superheroes this summer, if nobody minds.

Shakes on a plane. Lois is screaming while trying to kick open the cockpit door. It's not going well. Lois tries to rip a pole and use it to open the cockpit door. MamaKent, trying to make a cell-phone call, announces that she's not feeling well. Lois is feeling light-headed, too. Neither of them is breathing very well. Lois sees an intercom on the wall and presses a button. She says that they need air pressure because they're running out of oxygen. "Open the door!" she tries to tell the pilot. MamaKent passes out. Lois crawls to her and tells her she has to stay awake. Lois looks up at a panel up on the ceiling. She grabs a tool from the bar and tries to pry the panel open. It's glowing green around the edges. The panel falls and several oxygen masks drop. But Lois is too weak to grab one. She falls next to MamaKent. You know, writers, if you completely pretended like this storyline never happened next season, we won't even mind. Just pretend they never left home.

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Smallville

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