The Barnness of Moonlightitude. Clark walks in on Bo fixing some farm equipment. Bo asks how Ma Jocko is doing. Clark says she's fine, but pretty freaked out. "Who could blame her, right?" Bo says. He asks if Clark has any idea where Shapeshifta' Girl is now. "She could be anyone," Clark says. Bo takes out Lana's necklace and says, "You're right about that!" No! Evil Bo! He leaps at Clark with the necklace. Suspense! Commercials!
A door opens and Clark is thrown down the stairs of the creepy basement that houses his sweet ride spaceship. Clark has the necklace around his neck. Shapeshifta' Girl comes down the stairs and says she always wondered how Clark would beat her. She says he should be dead, but he's not; therefore, the meteor shower must have done something to him as well. Clark groans. "Looks painful," Shapeshifta' says. She grabs some rope and ties up Clark. Clark tells her not to do this, but she says that if she wants to be with Lana, she doesn't have a choice. Ohh. It's a lesbian thing. That's cool, that's cool. I'm down. Clark reminds Shapeshifta' that she tried to kill Lana last year. Shapeshifta' says it was the worst mistake of her life. I thought that was turning into Bo and forgetting to get a few platitudes off. Shapeshifta' says she acted hastily when Lana rejected her. "But I love her," she says moonily, "and I'll do anything to be with her." Psycho lesbian stereotype, much? As Shapeshifta' Girl passes a column, she says she figured out who Lana wants to be with. She turns into Clark. The Real Slim Clarky moans, "No! Stay away from her!" Shapeshifta' Clark says that Clark has good parents, great friends, and "the girl of our dreams." Shapeshifta' Girl says that Lana is waiting for him to make a move. Shapeshifta' Clark leaves and the real Clark yells, "No!"
Lex at The Talon. He comes up behind Dr. Glasses (who is not wearing her eponymous glasses right now), and says he's not used to people ignoring his calls. Dr. Glasses sighs, takes her silver coffee carrier, and says she has to go to work. Lex says he wants an explanation. Dr. Glasses says that Papa Luthor did approach her and offer her money, but not to spy. Papa just wanted her to break up with Lex. After she told him to go to hell, he wired the money to her account anyway. So, she says, Papa Luthor succeeded in breaking them up. Lex doesn't quite believe it and wants to know why his dad would do that. Dr. Glasses says she can't begin to imagine why. Lex says she should have told him. She says she was about to, but he started interrogating her before she could. Lex stops her before she leaves. She says she's glad this happened, and that it showed her whom she was dealing with. Blah blah, Nobel Prize for stupidity, she says she fell for someone who didn't really exist. But who was, nevertheless, very sexy. Lex stares after her as she leaves. Aw, sad Lex.