Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | 504 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Marshall Mouthers Episode

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...Clark arrives in high fashion in the red truck. Bo greets him in a panic. He says they took Jocko's horse out of the stable so Lana could walk him (she wasn't at The Talon?) and the horse collapsed. Bo says she's pretty upset and he's going to call the vet. On this show, rhyming is a good bet! Clark approaches Lana and the fallen horse. On every episode, Lana's voice is that of a horse whisperer. The horse, of course, of course, is right under a handy light. Lana whispers that she's seen the horse sick before, but never this bad. He's sick as a horse. Clark says there's help on the way. Lana doesn't want to lose this horse, "too." Wah wah. Lana says that the horse will be fine. "He's a fighter," Clark says. How in the fuck does he know that? Did the horse overcome horse polio and rescue kids from a fire or something? Is he Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron? "Just like his owner," Clark adds. Now, come on! Lana's a fighter like I'm a Gorgeous Lady of Wrestling. Lana looks to Clark, and I fear that they'll kiss over the body of a dying horse.

Marshall Mouthers gets out of a car and yells over, "How could you betray me?" Yeah, Brittany Murphy, how could you have sex in the studio with that wannabe record promoter! Oh, wait, wrong Marshall. This one's upset that Clark blabbed his secret to Chloe and now she wants to interview Marshall. Clark doesn't know what he's talking about. He's Slim Spacey, the real Slim Spacey, all the other Slim Spaceys are just imitatin', Clark! Marshall's worried that he's gonna be put back in the asylum again. "I never should have trusted you," Marshall says, menacingly. He's gonna quash the beef and fuckin' kill you! Clark has said this isn't the time or place for this, and now just looks annoyed. Lana calls Clark over. The horse is twitching. Marshall asks what's wrong with the horse. Clark says they don't know, and that the vet is en route. Marshall walks over, bends down next to Lana, and takes off his skullcap. He lies down with his ear to the horse's chest. It would be hilarious if he just feel asleep here and was using the horse as a pillow. Instead, he whispers to the horse that there's no need for people poking and prodding. Unless it's for fun. "I'll make it better," Marshall says. He puts his hands together and presses them on the horse, Mr. Miyagi-style. Overhead shot of a yellow/orange glow emanating from where the hands are touching the horse. Boss Man, is the white mouse still alive? Am I gonna have to walk the Green Mile by myself? I'm so scared, Boss. Lana is freaked out. Marshall has his eyes closed and those huge headphones still around his neck. Clark stares more intently than usual. Wondrous music plays. Marshall suddenly looks spent. The horse gets up quickly. "Man, that was freaky!" the horse thinks. The horse whinnies and Lana nuzzles him. Clark stares off into (immediate) space. Commercials.

Smallville

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