Smallville
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The Marshall Mouthers Episode

Commercials. Chow Yun-Fat, I beg of you. Get a better agent.

Kent Farm, where the cows go, "Booooooooo!" In Clark's Fortress of Barnitude, Clark is studying a color star map. Pete is there, dressed in yellow, not believing that somebody else knows Clark's secret. Pete's stock just dropped about 150 points. Clark asks what he was supposed to do. Because heat-vision is a lot less inconspicuous than running at slightly above normal speed or calling for help on your cell phone. Pete asks if Clark has told his folks yet. Nope. Pete is being all parenty, warning Clark that Marshall's going to go tell his secret. Clark suddenly notices that the coordinates Marshall gave him are in the same solar system as Krypton. And...? Pete says that Marshall could have just used research from people who've studied the meteor showers. Clark says it's too big a coincidence. Clark continues on the "I may not be alone" line of thinking. Pete suggests that Clark go up to Marshall with some meteor rock. "No, it's called Kryptonite," Clark says. "Kryptonite," Pete repeats, "Is that with a 'C' or a 'K'?" Clark says, "K." Klumsiest mythology introduction ever. Lana walks in wearing...wait for it...pink! She says Marshall was at The Talon and got taken away by Child Protective Services. Lana says the foster parents couldn't handle any more. She says they're sending him to Smallville Medical Center for assessment. The closed captioning just says he's being sent back to the psychiatric hospital. Close-up on Clark. And...scene!

Smallville Medical Center. Marshall is wearing hospital blues and is restrained in bed, although the wrist restraint looks awfully loose. He says he doesn't want to be locked up again with the doctors and the poking and the testing and the NICE LADY! Isn't this "Ryan" all over again? Marshall says that if he doesn't phone home by midnight, he's going to be stuck here forever. Like a career in Detroit rap would be such a bad thing. Clark undoes the restraints, which sound suspiciously like they're made of Velcro. He leads Marshall out of bed. Marshall grabs his clothes, neatly folded by the bed and ready for a quick getaway. Marshall asks Clark to go away with him, you know, to his real home. Clark says, "This is my real home." Yeah, and your other one kinda blew up. Clark wishes Marshall good luck. Marshall says that Clark gives him hope for this world. He wishes there were more guys like Clark. You'll have to stand in line behind Lex and the Gay Men's Chorus to register that wish. Marshall says he'll send a postcard. He walks right through the door because the hospital is totally fine with patients undoing their restraints and leaving. Clark stays behind for no good reason.

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