Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | Grade It Now!
The Marshall Mouthers Episode

As Pete and Clark work on their Florida Orange Growers kickback project, somebody plugs into their cheap extension cord. It's a guy with crazy, broody eyes in a grey hood. He's doing Eminem from 8 Mile. I certainly would rather see him do Eminem than that skeeza' Brittany Murphy. My eyes need a saline wash just looking at her. Clark, taken aback, says the guy can use their outlet. "Thanks," Marshall Mouthers says, and walks away quickly. (It may not be evident yet, but I'm calling him that because he's got amazingly huge lips. And he's pretty mouthy in that he can't keep a damn secret. Hence: Marshall Mouthers.) Chloe says that Marshall is actually named "Cyrus Krup," which makes him some sort of German coffee machine. She says he just transferred in. She was asked to give the guy a tour, but he told her he wouldn't be around long enough to need it. Clark says maybe that's why he's trying so hard to win friends and influence people. WB characters are not allowed to make references to books that predate my parents' birth and that aren't used in class studies. Chloe leaves, but not before putting a hand on Clark's back for no good reason. This whole scene is pretty sloppily put together.

Shot of Marshall Mouthers working on some sort of plastic ball with wires on it. He's very focused on it. It's got flashing lights, and we all know flashing lights are good for an electronics-class project. Marshall takes his ball and walks quickly through the class, grabbing an electric cord from one table and grabbing something from another table while wearing huge headphones. The guys at the table stand up and complain, asking why he doesn't "jack in" somewhere else. Who even says that outside of The Matrix? One of the guys is product-placing a "Property of Smallville Athletic Dept." t-shirt. One of the thugs grabs Marshall's headphones. He listens, and it sounds like a Geiger counter. He teases that the "loser" is listening to a dial tone. Marshall, with his dog eyes, says the guy doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what he's hearing. That sets off the bullies. Marshall says the main bully is "not one of mankind's brightest lights." The headphones hit the floor. Marshall whines at them not to damage his "transmitter." Much shaky-cam as the transmitter is tossed back and forth, over Marshall's head. Clark comes over and tells them to leave Marshall alone. Clark looks about thirty-four in this scene. The main bully advises "Kent" to stay out of it. Marshall is about a foot shorter than Clark. The bully (who looks like Breckin Meyer) threatens to put a hurt on the guy if he doesn't get his transmitter back. Evil Breckin pushes Marshall into a table, and Marshall falls. This Marshall better lose himself quick. The asshole bullies tease Marshall because he's all teary-eyed. Marshall turns around and gives them the evil eye. Suddenly, a wall behind them with tools on it catches fire. They all jump. The flames grow. "Now leave me alone!" Marshall shouts. Clark watches the flames in disbelief. Opening credits.

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