Smallville
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The Marshall Mouthers Episode

Inside, it looks like the closet where I keep all my old cables and computer crap. There's blue light, of course. Marshall shows Clark a printout and says he's pointing his transmitter to his home planet. Clark asks how he knows the right coordinates. Well, he talked to a guy at The Gap and they put together outfits together, shirt-by-shirt and pant-by-pant. Oh, the space coordinates? Who the hell knows. Marshall says he used to have weird dreams, and that he'd wake up in even stranger places. It's like Clark, except without all the gay. Marshall says the he was locked away by foster parents and that, boy, humans sure are barbaric, ya know? He says they tried to make him believe he was crazy. Clark asks for some proof. Marshall says his proof was destroyed the day of the meteor shower. "That's when I arrived on Earth," he says. Marshall says an elderly couple found him outside of town and raised him. He bounced around in foster homes, but kept trying to get back to Smallville. "Why?" Clark asks. Marshall says Smallville is ground zero for the signal and he has to wait for his parents there to take him home. So, he's like E.T., but without all the gay. Ethereal music plays as Clark tries to process two numbers at once.

Kent storm cellar. Bo plods down the steps, looking for his wifey. She doesn't respond, but she's down there. She's got her arms crossed and is standing, staring at the uncovered space ship. She says she's thinking about Clark traveling millions of miles through space. Maybe he can go for his summer vacation. Oh, wait, you mean arriving from space. Well, the fares are cheaper now anyway, so it's never too late. MamaKent is thinking about how the ship protected Clark and how it fertilized her ovaries. Worship the ship we must! Bo wraps his arms around her from behind and kisses her on the cheek. He says the ship has given them two miracles. All hail the mighty ship! Wrap it in garlands we will! MamaKent looks hella scared. She says she hopes he's right. She says she's been having terrible headaches, mood swings, and weird sleeping patterns. Bo turns her around and platitudes some comfort up. He says the doctor told them her pregnancy is perfectly normal. Do parents ever think their pregnancy is anything remotely normal? Martha says that it's normal except for the way she was able to conceive. Hey, at least you didn't have to use hot water bottles and a turkey baster, okay? MamaKent says she wants Dr. Dropkick to examine her just to make sure. "No," Bo says. MamaKent says she trusts Lex's girl since she saw some weird medical stuff with their family and didn't alert anyone to it. Bo goes all low in the voice and says she's with Lex, and MamaKent can get medical advice from anyone except her. "Why not?!" MamaKent whines. "Because I don't want our family secrets becoming pillow talk," Bo says. Oh, Bo, keep talking dirty like that. MamaKent doesn't argue back, but she gets that sneaky glint in her eye.

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Smallville

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