Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | Grade It Now!
Dead On A Rival

"Honduras." The poor little kid -- whom they dressed up like freakin' Spock, for fuck's sake -- leads Clark to where the ship used to be. Thanks, NAFTA! "Señor Fine?" Clark asks. "Si. Señor Fine," the kid tells him. Clark doesn't find SoFine, but does find a giant scorch mark in the shape of a spaceship. Dramatic music. Maybe that big scorch mark is just where SoFine took that dump.

Metropolis dorm. Chloe answers her phone. Hey, the Chloevage is back. Chloe tells Lex that she doesn't know where Lana went, but that she can find out. She promises to call Lex back when she knows. On her way out of the room, Chloe finds a book lying around called Beyond Death. She didn't see that before? Chloe finds something tucked into the book -- a paper or photo -- and looks at it quizzically.

A door with an Ankh symbol on it. Someone knocks, and Pusher Girl opens it. We can see a beyond-lame Marilyn Manson poster in the background. Wow, the crew really studied up on current goth culture for this episode, huh? Chloe gives the tired-looking girl a dirty look and says, "We need to talk." Can we talk about death? That would be cool. Pusher Girl looks like she might have been crying. She says that Lana warned them about her nosy roommate. "You look worse than Lana," Chloe remarks. Thanks, stranger! Snidely, Pusher Girl wraps herself in a blanket and asks Chloe if she's going to go "Mrs. Brady" on her and bring her chicken soup. That actually sounds pretty awesome. Could someone do that for me? Chloe says that she's worried about her friend, who's vulnerable right now after a breakup. She says that the last thing Lana needs is to flunk out of school because she's partying. Pusher Girl coughs into her hand and asks if it's Chloe's business. Chloe says that it definitely is, and that if Pusher Girl doesn't reveal what they're taking, it'll be the university's business, too. Pusher Girl tells Chloe to chill, and that Lana hasn't been moping or taking drugs. Chloe says that Lana hasn't been normal, and that she and Pusher Girl look like poster girls for the Betty Ford Clinic. Say it again, Chloe! You think they're ugly! You love it! Sweet revenge! Instead of smacking her, Pusher Girl tells Chloe to let it go, and that they're done talking. Chloe demands to know what Lana's taking. Pusher Girl calls her small-minded. She says that what Lana wanted was between her and her loved ones. Pusher Girl starts coughing and choking. Chloe asks what's happening. "Near-death experience," she manages. Chloe looks around and sees books on the floor, including Exploring The Afterlife and Experiencing Out Of Body Experience. Books are evil, man. Pusher Girl says that it's a meteor rock compound they're using. She sneezes blood. Chloe calls for an ambulance. "Please," the girl whimpers. "I don't want to die." Weird jump cuts from her to Chloe and back to Pusher Girl. Pusher Girl falls back on the bed. Chloe stands up and says, "Oh God." Oh, God am I bored.

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