Crumbling Luthor Manor. We flash on the face of bloody-eyed Lex. We see a craggy wooden piece hanging from the ceiling, then the magnificent yet bastardous Papa Luthor still pinned beneath a column. "Lex!" he shouts. "I'm your father!" he says, and extends his hand. Hey, nice pinky ring. Lex just stands there. He must be thinking about what he's going to say next time he's on The Best Damn Sports Show Period. ["Yeah -- why is Michael Rosenbaum friends with Tom Arnold? That's just weird." -- Wing Chun] Lex finally moves forward and lifts the big obstacle. Good, because I was seriously worried that John Glover was going to get axed from the show. Not real worried. Not so worried I was crying or anything. Not like a deep, unhealthy, more-than-just-gay yearning to see John Glover every week and maybe imagine him in a beautiful dolphin tank with pink-tinted water and floating candles. Nothing like that. Um, let's move on. As Lex continues moving pieces of his castle, we hear creaking as the ceiling dips dangerously. Then a bunch of crap falls on Lex. Nothing that looks heavy, mind you. It looks like the prop department lost all their cue cards and plywood. Lex gets up and calls for his dad. We see Papa Luthor's hand lying still next to a book with its pages flapping in the wind and lightning.
We transition to the woods. There are branches flying, but they look a little unnatural. I'm thinking they may be CGI. I have a theory I'm gonna test out this season: The quality of an episode is inversely proportionate to the amount of CGI in it. Let's see how long this idea holds. Bo Duke is chasing Nixon through the woods, because that's just the way love is, dammit. Oh, wait. I forgot. Bo's pissed at Nixon for trying to expose his son's secret. (Or at least the secret about the superpowers.) Nixon -- who is carrying his videocamera -- stumbles. As he gets up, he removes a small digital tape from the cam and sticks it in his pocket. Bo continues to pursue. He's thinking, "This shit was so much easier when we had the General Lee." "Nixoooooon!" Bo yells in frustration, which incidentally was what much of America was yelling in the early '70s. Bo tackles Nixon near what appears to be the graveyard where Lana's oft-mentioned flat circular disc-parents are buried. Nixon punches Bo. Bo punches Nixon. Except for the storm, this could be any Dukes of Hazzard episode. Bo yells at Nixon to give him the camera. Nixon tells Bo Duke to get away, then throws his own camera. He couldn't just slide it over, or roll it nicely? Bo stupidly goes after the camera. Nixon makes his sneaky escape. Bo looks up and sees a huge structure coming down. He runs over to Nixon, pushes him down a hole, looks up again, then follows him. Bo narrowly escapes a fate worse than Lana's parents by ducking under a colorful dropped trailer. Ah, Kansas. Then we see Bo falling down some stone steps. Suddenly, we're on a Buffy the Vampire Slayer crypt set. Much rolling down stairs and dust.